Life Sentence
by distantmuse
Summary: Joe and Natalie find that there are lifelong consequences for their actions. Caputo/Fig pairing because I thought they were cute in Season 6. Possible spoilers from Season 6.
1. Chapter 1

_There's not much Caputo and Fig fic out there, and I LOVED their development in season 6, so I decided to create some. There is some language, but nothing worse than you'd hear in the show. Review and let me know if I should continue!_

* * *

By his count, it was the fifth morning in a row that Joe Caputo had awoken to the sound of Natalie Figueroa throwing up in his bathroom. At first, he'd ignored it. He knew about her struggles with anorexia and bulimia. It wasn't something she ever wanted to discuss, and as Joe enjoyed keeping his head on his body, he'd learned to leave it alone.

He started to realize that it didn't add up. It wasn't as though 7 a.m. was primetime for a binge and purge fest. He'd noticed during their sex sessions that her tits had felt larger and more swollen in his hands, and that she had yelped painfully once when he grabbed them the way he usually did.

And, she'd been more of a bitch than ever, if that was even possible.

He rose from his bed that she'd left him alone in, pulled on his boxers, and headed toward the bathroom. When he peered in, he saw Natalie sitting against the wall beside the toilet with her knees pulled to her chest. Her face was pale with a sweat-covered forehead, and she had rested the back of her head on the wall with her eyes closed. Joe was caught off guard by how frail she looked sitting there, clad only in one of his Side Boob shirts that was huge on her waifish body.

"Something you want to tell me, Natalie?" Joe asked, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom with his arms crossed.

"Why ask the question if you know the answer?" Natalie quipped without bothering to open her eyes.

Joe was quiet as he took a washcloth from the linen closet. He ran it under cool water from the faucet, squeezed the excess water out, and joined Natalie in the floor. He attempted to dab at her forehead before she grabbed the washcloth from his hands and began doing it herself.

"When did it happen?" Joe asked quietly, sliding down the wall to join her on the floor.

"I'd say it was when we fucked in the coat room during that PolyCon bullshit. We didn't have a condom, you said you'd pull out in time." Natalie looked over at him and glared. "I'm not sure why I believed that from you. I never even bought it when guys said that in high school."

"You were too turned on by the primal sight of blood all over my shirt." Joe smirked.

He remembered Natalie cleaning the blood from his nose at the party. After, he'd pulled her to him, yanked her new jacket off (tearing it, slightly, which pissed her off and made the sex even better), and hiked up her skirt to fuck her. After the devastation of the trial, he couldn't have cared less about a condom. He just wanted to feel something.

"Ugh, that nose blood… Don't make me puke again." Natalie moaned, rubbing her temples with her fingers.

"Or turned on by the idea of fucking with your husband and Linda just feet away?"

"That's more likely. I do hate that bitch." Natalie wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Both of them, actually."

"So, what's that make you then? 4 or 5 weeks?" Joe guessed.

"7." Natalie replied, resting her forehead on her knees.

His eyebrows shot up. "Damn, it's been that long?"

"You don't seem very surprised about… This." Natalie gestured vaguely at her abdomen.

"I had a couple of days before I confronted you to think about it. I was hoping you'd tell me yourself…" Joe was quiet for a moment. "Were you ever planning on telling me?"

Natalie sighed. "My first appointment is next week. I was going to tell you after that. I was sort of in denial about it myself, which is crazy considering I've been puking my guts out – involuntarily for a change – every morning… And noon and night. Calling it 'morning sickness' is really a fucking cosmic joke, you know."

"So I've heard."

Natalie ran one hand absently through her hair. "What do we do now?"

"It's your body." Joe said diplomatically. "It's your choice."

"Don't give me that shit, Joe!" Natalie stood up angrily, towering over him as he remained on the floor. "I'm trying to have a conversation with you here, and I don't need your generic pseudo-feminist…"

Natalie was interrupted as her face contorted and her hand covered her mouth. Joe quickly lunged forward and swept Natalie's curls away from her face just in time for her to be sick again. He held her hair back with one hand and used the other to rub her back gently as she continued to throw up into his toilet.

"Your lovechild would have to be an asshole." Natalie muttered, slumping back against the wall next to him when she'd finished.

"Love?" The corners of Joe's mouth twitched in amusement.

"Fuckchild. Bastard." Natalie quickly corrected herself. "Whatever you want to call it."

Joe looped an arm around Natalie's shoulders and drew her toward him. He felt Natalie's slender body stiffen beneath his touch briefly before she finally relaxed against him and laid her head against his chest. It had taken Natalie time to warm up to any real physical affection from Joe. When they were fuckbuddies, it was easy; he usually did her behind so they didn't have to look at each other. It's easier to have hate sex that way. It was only in the more recent months that she'd become his "girlfriend" that she'd really allowed him to touch and hold her affectionately, but she still kept plenty of guards in place.

"Did you…" Natalie absently picked at the cuticle of one of her deep red nails. "Ever want to be a father?"

"I was… Sort of… For a while. My girlfriend had a baby with my bandmate. It's… Complicated." Joe didn't feel like rehashing the painful history in that moment on his bathroom floor, which he realized could use a cleaning.

"I wanted a baby at one point, you know… It just never happened." Natalie sighed. "Not that there was much trying after I found out my husband was gay."

"That would be a boner killer… Or uh…" Joe scratched his head. "Whatever it is for women."

"How did our lives get so fucked up?"

"Maybe it's not fucked up. Maybe this was supposed to happen." Joe said, answered by a snort from Natalie.

Her husband, Jason, was aware that she had been shacking up with Joe, practically living with him, but they never discussed it – just like they never discussed Jason's relationship with Gavin. Her enormous diamond engagement ring had unceremoniously found its way off her finger and into their safety deposit box at the bank. Their marriage was a piece of paper, existing only for the sake of appearances and political gain. Joe had stopped calling her "Fig," not wanting to use a nickname that constantly reminded him that she was still tied to another man.

"I'm still married, Joe. Technically. Legally. This isn't exactly a fairy tale."

"Doesn't mean it can't have a happily ever after, Nat."

Natalie scoffed. "You're such a hopeless romantic. It's pathetic really."

Joe placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head up, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "You know I care about you, Nat. Whether you like it or not."

"I… Care about you, too." Natalie said, looking back into his eyes. "But we're not good people, Joe."

"We aren't the worst people." Joe pointed out. "We've worked in corrections long enough to know that."

"I don't know what kind of parents we'd be. The majority of our relationship has been toxic." Natalie argued.

"It's been better. It's been great, actually. We go on dates. We kiss. We make each other laugh. We cook. Well, I cook and you don't eat it, but…" Joe trailed off. "Don't you think it's worth a shot? Something that could finally make us happy? Really, truly, _happy_?"

"Yes… I do." Natalie exhaled slowly, then looked at him thoughtfully. "You're happy?"

"Completely fucking terrified." Joe chuckled lightly. "But also happy. You?"

Natalie finally cracked a smile. "Same."

Joe released Natalie from his embrace and stood. He extended his hand down to her on the floor. She placed her hand in his and he gently helped her to her feet, wrapping his other arm around her waist for more stability when she stumbled.

"So… We figure this out together?" Joe asked, giving her hand a light squeeze.

"Together." Natalie repeated.


	2. Chapter 2

_There's not really much history for Fig, so I'm making some up to try to give a rationale for her tough exterior._

A week later, Natalie and Joe sat in her OB/GYN's office. Natalie was sitting uncomfortably on the exam table while Joe sat next to her in a chair, bouncing his leg nervously while she answered her doctor's questions.

"So you think you're about 8 weeks along."

"Yes."

"Have you had many symptoms?"

"Headaches, throwing up morning, noon, and night…"

"Mood swings. Bad ones." Joe interjected. Natalie glared at him as the doctor tried to keep a straight face.

"We'll be discussing more about your health now, so if you want to keep anything private…" Dr. Goldberg glanced over at Joe.

"He's the father." Natalie stated. "If he wants to be here…"

"I do." Joe interrupted.

"Okay then… I'm not going to lie to you two." Dr. Goldberg began with a grim look on her face. "You have some factors that make this pregnancy very high risk. Your advanced maternal age, to begin with, and your history of eating disorders. I'm honestly surprised you were able to conceive in the first place. I'd call it a miracle, even, because the chances were so low. Even now, this may not result in a live birth, unfortunately."

"So…" Joe cleared his throat. "What would suggest that she… We… Do?"

Dr. Goldberg took off her glasses and focused on Natalie. "If you want to continue this pregnancy, you're going to need to get intensive therapy and work with a nutritionist to help manage your eating disorders. You'll need to gain enough weight to support a growing child, keep stress low, and take excellent care of yourself. Other than those things, there's not much we can do at this point. Ultimately, it is mostly out of our control."

Out of control. There weren't words that Natalie hated hearing more than those. She _thrived_ on control. She exuded it, from her clothes to the way she carried herself and interacted with other people. It was what she had spent her entire adulthood working to achieve.

"If we can get you to the second trimester," the doctor continued, "we'll do some hormone shots to try to improve the chances of going to full term. We'll hope that there was no uterine or cervical damage done by your previous abortion that would make this even higher risk."

Joe arched a curious brow at the last statement, but Natalie quickly averted her eyes, staring at the dots on her gown.

"What we will do now is see how the fetus is doing, look for a heartbeat, and measure to see how far along you are for certain." Dr. Goldberg eased Natalie's gown up and draped a sheet over her legs. She turned to the equipment and prepped a long wand. "Okay, this may be a little uncomfortable, Natalie. I'm going to insert this transducer into your vagina, and we'll take some images."

"What about the uh… The gel and the thing on the stomach?" Joe asked, staring wide-eyed at the transducer.

"The internal ultrasound allows us to have a more accurate look at everything, especially this early." Dr. Goldberg explained.

"It's a dildo-cam." Natalie muttered.

Dr. Goldberg chuckled. "For lack of a better term, yes."

Natalie allowed Joe to take her hand while the doctor got her equipment situated. Soon, there was an image on the TV mounted on the wall in front of them.

"That is your baby."

"It looks like a gummy bear." Natalie commented with a little laugh.

"Or a kidney bean." Joe said.

"And if you see that fluttering right there… That's the heart. Let's have a listen." A few clicks later, the sound of a washing machine filled the room.

"Holy shit." Joe whispered.

The doctor smiled and spoke positively for the first time since she'd entered the room. "The heartbeat is good. Strong. Growth appears to be on track, too. That's good news for us."

Natalie released a sigh of relief that she didn't realize she'd been holding. She felt Joe squeeze her hand, and she looked over to exchange a small smile with him.

"Okay, we're finished here." The doctor said a few minutes later as she put the equipment back. "You are about 8 weeks like you thought."

"So everything looks good?" Natalie asked.

"It does. I'll want to see you every couple of weeks since you are high risk, but for now, I'm happy with how things look." Dr. Goldberg patted her knee and handed her a strip of printed pictures. "Congratulations! I'll let you get dressed."

"What's wrong?" Joe asked when the doctor left. "Your Resting Bitch Face is scarier than usual."

Natalie threw up her hands. "She called me old, crazy, and gave us a list of all of the ways this was doomed from the moment you groaned, 'I have a dinosaur cock' and came in me. What the fuck is with the dinosaur thing anyway?"

"It's… Nothing." Joe waved his hand dismissively. "You can't focus on all the bad stuff she said, Nat. She's a doctor, that's her job."

"Why are you such an eternal fucking optimist?" Natalie asked with clear irritation in her voice.

"How has being an eternal fucking pessimist worked out for you so far?" Joe countered.

Natalie was quiet for a moment, studying the strip of pictures she held. "Look how big its head is. That has to be from you."

"Too bad we can't see its mouth yet." Joe retorted. "Then we'd know that's you."

Natalie chuckled a little despite herself, and Joe dropped a kiss on the top of her head, taking the pictures out of her hand. "Can you believe this is inside you? I mean, we made this, Nat, and it lives in you, and it looks like this."

"That's generally how this works, yes." Natalie was busy pulling her clothes back on, but she finally looked over at Joe and softened, noting the expression of awe on his face as he studied the ultrasound photos. "It is pretty amazing, though."

"Do you think that's his… You know?" Joe asked

"I think that's probably his arm…" Natalie tried to hide her smile. "But it's your kid, so who knows, Beer Can."

They walked out of the office and to his car together, and he marveled over the pictures the whole way out. Natalie had no doubt that she'd be seeing them on the refrigerator at his house. She was having a harder time being excited, given the risks the doctor had outlined and the decades old memory that was haunting her.

"Are you okay?" Joe asked, turning the key in the car's ignition.

"I feel like I owe you an explanation… About the abortion." Natalie buckled her seatbelt. "I didn't really think about the fact that she'd be bringing it up in my history."

Joe cast a side glance at her. "You don't owe me anything."

Natalie took a deep breath. "Well, since we're doing this whole honesty and having a child together thing, how about I go ahead and tell you? Because… I kind of need to talk about it."

"Then I'm listening."


	3. Chapter 3

_Flashback_

The cane rapped in rhythmic counts as it always did. 5, 6, 7, 8.

"Control your hips, girl." The French accent was muddled from 20 years in America, but still present.

Sixteen-year-old Natalie sighed and grasped the barre more firmly, attempting to follow the order. She watched her powder pink legs move in the mirror and tried not to look at her mother.

Maman had been a professional ballerina before she moved to the United States and married Natalie's father. She'd been determined to make a professional ballerina of her only child and had fired instructor after instructor before insisting on training Natalie herself.

"You're getting sloppy." Maman poked Natalie in the back with the cane, which she didn't need to walk and used only to bang on the floor and hit Natalie. "Stand up straight. What is the matter with you? You gained two pounds this week, and now, you're holding yourself like a droopy flower."

Natalie drew her leg back in and spun to face her mother. She crossed her arms over her black leotard and took a deep breath, finally ready to reveal what she had been hiding for weeks.

"Maman, I'm… Pregnant."

Her mother's mouth dropped, and her eyes flashed with fury. Her hands tightened around the cane so hard that her knuckles turned white. Natalie had been beaten with that cane until her ribs were bruised, even thrown to the floor by her hair on multiple occasions. She'd been screamed at during weekly weigh-ins, starved herself, and forced herself to throw up until she'd passed out on occasion. But she had never, ever seen that look on her mother's face.

"You STUPID girl." Maman spat, slamming the cane on the floor so hard that it split. Natalie winced and jumped back. "Tu as ruiné ta vie. How could you do this? Mon Dieu."

"It was an accident! We were using condoms, but I guess one must have broken."

"Ta gueule! I'll kill him!" Maman shouted. "I knew we should have sent you to the school for girls. You'll transfer there at once… After you have an abortion."

"But…" Natalie's eyes widened. "We're Catholic."

"You were Catholic when you were having sex with this boy, this Ryan." Maman pointed a finger at her. "It didn't matter then, did it? Merde!"

"I… I don't want to have an abortion!"

"Then you want to tell your Papa that his precious girl is nothing more than a little slut?" Maman shouted.

"No!" Natalie pleaded. "Please. Don't tell Papa. Please. He'll never look at me the same again."

"As he shouldn't." Maman hissed, slapping Natalie across the face with the back of her hand so hard that she crashed back against the barre and into a sobbing heap on the floor.

* * *

"No wonder you hate French food." Joe murmured.

Natalie shook her head in disbelief. "THAT was your takeaway from that story?"

Of course it wasn't, but what could he say about the level of abuse that Natalie had endured at the hands of her mother? Everything about her cold demeanor was starting to make sense. Even the way she always insisted on rough sex with spanking and hair pulling, but the way that _she_ always demanded and controlled it, telling him when to do it, how hard, and when to let up or stop. She was _finally_ letting him see the real Natalie. He didn't want to scare her into shutting down again, so he chose banter; it's what they did best, besides fucking.

"I wouldn't have pegged you for an accomplished ballerina with the terrible dancing you did on our karaoke date." Joe teased.

"You know that was one of the most awkward moments of my life, right? Sweet, but… Awkward. Plus, I was wearing high heels."

"So if you were a big shot ballerina, you were never actually fat like you said you were that night."

"Not by normal people standards, no." Natalie snorted. "Just my mother's."

"What happened to ballet?" Joe asked.

"I auditioned for Julliard, but I didn't get in."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Natalie glanced over at Joe in the driver's seat. "I would've. But I fucked up the audition on purpose."

"But… Why?"

"I had to get away from my mother. I needed to work toward something _I_ wanted to do instead of something I was _forced_ to do. My mother barely spoke to me after that, even though she didn't know I blew the audition intentionally. My father died when I was seventeen, so I took the inheritance he left me, went to NYU, got a degree in PR, got out, married Jason, got my MBA, and somehow started working in the prison system longer ago than I care to admit." Natalie quickly switched back to her old self. "Somewhere in there, I became an abrasive bitch… Really, it's a fine art that I had to cultivate."

Joe patted her leg. "You excel at it, my dear."

"It's good to be appreciated."

They drove in silence for a few minutes before Natalie finally spoke up again. "You're really not going to say anything about the abortion?"

"What's there to say? You were a kid, and it was a shitty situation. Your mother sounds like a monster."

"That's being too kind to her, trust me."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that." Joe said quietly.

"No one else knows about Maman and the abortion." Natalie flipped down the mirror in the car's visor and began re-glossing her lips while avoiding his eyes. "Not even Jason."

Joe was surprised that she had shared something so private about herself with him and the casual way that she had admitted it. It gave him hope that maybe she was willing to begin letting him see more parts of herself that she kept so carefully hidden from the rest of the world.

"Can I ask just one question? Out of curiosity?"

"Shoot."

"I know you didn't really have a choice, but… Do you regret it? The abortion, I mean."

Natalie twisted the wand back into her lip gloss and stared out the window, hoping that he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. "Only every single day of my life."

* * *

"Good morning, beautiful." Joe kissed Natalie's cheek as she joined him in the kitchen the next morning. "I made you breakfast. Gluten-free toast, fruit, and poached eggs."

"Uh, you know…" Natalie glanced at the diamond studded watch on her wrist. "I really have to get to work."

In lieu of a qualified applicant, she had continued as interim warden of Litchfield, which was frequently a point of contention between the two. Joe had been riding out his severance while exploring new career options.

"You have to eat, Nat." Joe scolded. "Remember what the doctor said."

"Do you think you're my father now?" Natalie crossed her arms. "Because _that's_ NOT going to work."

"No." Joe raised his voice a little more than he intended to. "But I _am_ the father of that baby you're carrying, and that means I give a damn. This affects me, too."

Natalie exhaled sharply. He had a point, though she would never admit it. "I really can't do the eggs because I'll throw up. I'll take the fruit and the toast."

"That's a start." Joe scraped the eggs onto another plate and handed the rest of the food back to her. "Look, Natalie, I know this is hard for you."

Natalie scoffed between small bites of her toast. "No, you really don't."

"You didn't let me finish." Joe sat down on the barstool next to her. "Of course, I should be used to that by now."

Natalie took a sip from the coffee cup in front of her and sputtered. "What the fuck is this?"

"Decaf."

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

Joe was growing impatient. "Can we just have a serious conversation here?"

Natalie pushed the coffee cup across the counter as far away from her as possible and gestured grandly at him. "Fine, by all means."

"I was saying that I know this is difficult for you, but I also know from personal experience that when you set your mind to do anything you want, you do it."

"Don't you think I've tried over the past, what… 30 some years? Multiple times?" Natalie pushed her plate back to join the coffee cup she had rejected.

"This is _me_ you're talking to, Natalie." Joe leaned forward on his barstool and took her hands in his. "I'm not judging you. You know I have my share of faults and flaws. You enjoy pointing them out every single day."

"There are so many that I have to pace myself."

"I'm asking you to try again. For a very important reason." Joe glanced at her still flat stomach.

"Fine." Natalie relented. "I'll call my therapist this morning."

"You already have one?"

Natalie arched a perfectly groomed brow. "Doesn't everyone?"

"That's good. That'll make this easier."

"I'm not sure what he's going to do that I haven't already tried. Outpatient therapy, inpatient therapy, therapy by the sea, therapy in the mountains… You can get therapy in any vacation setting of your choice, you know."

"It's different this time. You do want this baby… Don't you?" Joe asked, a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

"I do. More than you could ever…" Natalie's voice broke. "I'm just…"

"Scared?" Joe asked quietly, brushing away a tear that had fallen down her cheek.

"Don't make me say it." Natalie quickly composed herself and reluctantly pulled her plate back in front of her. She stabbed a blueberry with her fork.

"I'm going to help you."

"I appreciate that, but please, I am begging you…" Natalie clasped her hands together in mock prayer.

"What?"

"No. More. Eggs." Natalie emphasized each word as Joe chuckled.

"Okay, we'll get protein elsewhere." Joe thought for a moment. "Do you like peanut butter?"

Natalie smiled. She had to admit to herself that he was really cute when he was taking care of her, and it had been a long time since anyone had bothered to take care of her like that. She leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss. "Yes. And I like you."

"You feeling okay?" Joe laughed.

"Shut up, Joe." Natalie said, and she pulled him into another, deeper kiss.

She was late for work that day.


	4. Chapter 4

"Can you zip this for me?" Natalie asked.

Joe tugged at the zipper of her black skirt, but couldn't get it to budge past the point Natalie had already pulled it to. Her eleven weeks pregnant body wasn't having it. Joe had noticed that her normally flat stomach had started to jut outward to a small bump that was noticeable on her otherwise lithe body, but he hadn't been about to point it out – and he wasn't going to then, either.

"I think the zipper's broken." Joe lied.

"I swear this happened overnight." Natalie whined. "What am I going to do? All of my clothes are form fitting. None of them are going to fit because I'm getting fat."

Natalie yanked her articles of clothing, which had overwhelmed Joe's small and sensible wardrobe to one small corner, out of his closet piece by piece. His bedroom quickly became a collage of bold colored pencil skirts, floral and animal printed blouses, and the occasional cocktail dress.

"It is not fat, Natalie. It's just your uterus starting to expand."

Natalie turned to him and glared. "Have you been on fucking Wikipedia?"

"Web MD." Joe said, dodging a leopard print skirt that came flying his way.

"Jesus."

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and let his hands rest on the slight curve of her abdomen. Her first instinct was to push his hands away from her stomach, but instead, she found herself placing her hands over his and holding them there.

"You're beautiful. Your body has to change, Nat." Joe said gently.

"That's why being a woman isn't fucking fair." Natalie whimpered. " _You_ don't have to get fat, and this is half your fault."

Natalie turned around and dropped her head to bury her face in his shoulder. He embraced her while he tried not to laugh at her sudden mood swing.

"What about this?" Joe reached around her into the closet and pulled out a printed black and white faux-wrap dress with ruching across the front. "I bet it'll fit, and it'll hide the bump. I'm guessing you haven't told our friend Linda that you're pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's baby?"

"Nope. She's a psycho bitch. I'll be damned if I'm pushing her crazy buttons on purpose." Natalie said, taking the dress from him and holding it up. Her face brightened. "I think this will work. Good job."

"I don't know why you're freaking out." Joe sat down on the edge of the bed. "I thought you weren't working today anyway. You can always go shopping."

"I'm not going to work." Natalie took a manila envelope from on top of his dresser and tossed it to him. He opened it and pulled out a small stack of papers attached to a blue back. He quickly skimmed through the paperwork and raised his eyebrows when he realized what it was.

"Divorce papers? Wow, we're not even married. You could just dump me, you know." Joe joked.

"I'm taking them to Jason today. They are way overdue." Natalie struggled to clasp her bra, then threw it down in frustration. "This doesn't fucking fit anymore either."

"I kind of like that part."

Natalie rolled her eyes and shot the bra at him like a slingshot. She started digging through the dresser drawers for another bra. "I have whored myself out for him long enough. Do you know how many donors have smacked me on the ass? How many benefits and galas I've been his arm candy for? Not to mention embezzling money for his campaign. And for what? So he could get himself a fuckboy?"

"To be fair, you got yourself one, too." Joe said with a smirk. Natalie patted him on the cheek and smiled.

"I'm giving him the house." Natalie took the papers back. "I just want out. I'll find an apartment or a condo or something."

"Why not just live here with me?"

"Here?"

Joe laughed. "Face is, Natalie. You've lived here for months. I have no closet, dresser, or sink space left."

"Moving in would make this awfully… Official."

"I think me knocking you up made it pretty official."

"Would I be able to redecorate?" Natalie asked. "This place looks like it was painted with the Sherwin Williams Lonely Bachelor Pad Collection."

"That would sell, you know." Joe said. "Well, you'd have to tweak the name."

"I'll think about it."

* * *

"Well hello, my dear husband." Natalie called out sweetly later that morning. "I've brought you a present."

Jason looked up at his wife as she entered his office. Natalie dropped the papers onto his desk unceremoniously. He eyed them laying on his desk before putting on his glasses and picking them up to read them. She kept her distance, standing across from him her arms crossed.

"What would we tell the press?" Jason finally asked, looking at her above his glasses.

The press. Natalie almost laughed. His number one concern, and at one time, hers. How many years of her life had Natalie spent caring about "the press" above all else? From what she wore and her hair and makeup to what she said to them and when. How many times had she masterminded responses to them on his behalf? She was far smarter than Jason – probably could have been better at his job than he was – but he had the benefit of a family name of a long line of politicians.

"Good Lord, you've been a politician for how long, and you still can't make up a good statement?" Natalie rolled her eyes and thought for a moment. "You spin it like this. 'We have decided to dissolve our marriage as our lives have headed in different directions, but we remain close friends. Natalie wishes Jason the best in the rest of his term as state senator, and Jason thanks Natalie for the support she's given him over the years.'"

"And what do you want out of this?"

"You keep the house. We split the rest of the assets 50/50. No alimony. Just keep it simple and quick."

"Where is all of this benevolence coming from, Natalie?" Jason leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I'm not buying that you aren't trying to take me for all that I'm worth in this."

"The way I see it, we have enough dirt on each other to completely destroy each other. I'm not interested in doing our own remake of 'War of the Roses'; I just want this façade to end."

"Why now, though?"

"You'll find out anyway." Natalie stepped back and sank down into the black leather couch she had chosen for his office. "I'm pregnant."

Jason nodded, unshaken. "I thought your breasts looked bigger."

"I'm surprised you were ever interested enough in them to notice."

Jason crossed the room from his desk and sat on the coffee table across from her. "Caputo's?"

"Well, it's obviously not yours since you haven't had sex with me in about two years." Natalie retorted.

"What happens when the press finds out you're pregnant?"

Natalie laughed bitterly. "I don't really give a flying fuck. You can tell them I was abducted by aliens and impregnated, for all I care. Being married to your career isn't going to be my concern anymore. I'm not your ghostwriter anymore. Let Gavin figure out what to tell them."

"Do you love him?" Jason asked quietly.

"I care about him."

"That isn't what I asked."

"I know." Natalie replied flippantly.

The truth was that she hadn't quite worked out her feelings for Joe herself. Somewhere along the way, they had gone from co-workers who hated each other to fuckbuddies to confidants with benefits to having an actual relationship with a baby on the way. Admitting that she might be falling in love with him was terrifying; it put her in a position to be hurt by a man again.

Jason took her hand in his. She stared down at the golden band that was still on his finger but hadn't been anything but a showpiece for years. "Believe it or not, I do want you to be happy, Nat. When we got married, I really didn't know how I felt about men. I did love you, Natalie. I still do in some ways."

"Just never in the ways I wanted and needed you to." Natalie whispered, blinking back tears.

"I'm sorry."

Natalie yanked her hand back. "It doesn't matter anymore. I'm surprised you're not fighting against this."

"What's the point? Like you said, we have enough on each other to ruin our lives permanently and land us both in jail. Let's just fly to the Dominican and get it done quickly." Jason suggested. "That'll help keep the press out of it, too."

"Aww, the same place we went on our honeymoon." Natalie shouldered her purse as she stood. "Life really does come full circle, doesn't it?"

"I'll have the travel arranged, and I'll text you the details."

"Then tell Gavin that I'll be needing a full spa day while we're there, and that he can put that and the rest of the trip on your personal credit card." Natalie said with a smirk as she sauntered out the door.

Jason half laughed. "Now _that's_ more like the Natalie I know."

* * *

Joe returned home that evening from practice with his band to find a huge, fully-packed Gucci suitcase by the front door. A knot immediately formed in his stomach. Natalie wasn't anywhere in sight.

"Natalie?" Joe called out.

"Hey." Natalie walked out from his bedroom, carrying another piece of luggage. She greeted him with a kiss on the cheek.

"What's with the luggage? You have a business trip?"

"Oh, no. Jason and I are just flying to the Dominican Republic for a quick divorce." Natalie dropped the matching Gucci carry-on next to the suitcase. "I'm just trying to figure out where my passport is. It must be in my desk. I'll have to stop by work."

"A Dominican quickie divorce?" Joe repeated. "That sounds like it's something from a TV show."

"Yes, they're for soap opera characters and rich real people who can't stand to be around each other anymore. We fly down there, stay a couple of nights, say 'I don't anymore,' and fly back free people. Just like that."

"You need all of that for a couple of nights?"

"Have you met me? I did some shopping today for clothes that fit."

"So you're leaving the country with Jason." Joe said uncertainly.

"You can't honestly be threatened by me flying to the Caribbean with my gay husband to get a divorce." Natalie laughed.

Joe shrugged and looked away. He remembered the last time that a woman had packed luggage and left it sitting by his front door; Lisa had left him for Hank with the baby he had helped raise. He couldn't imagine losing another woman and baby at the same time and facing that pain again. He'd barely survived it the first time.

Natalie frowned slightly, realizing that he actually looked concerned. She reached out and touched his cheek lightly. "Hey. I promise I'm coming back. Haven't you realized that we always end up coming back to each other?"

"That's true." He remembered all of the times she'd ended up in his bed and the time he had shown up at her door, even when he thought they were done with each other.

"Look, my flight doesn't leave until morning… What about if we do something you can think about while I'm gone?" Natalie pulled him to her aggressively by his belt buckle and began fumbling with it.

"Wait." Joe stopped her hands. "I want to try something different."

"Are you talking about that thing we were sexting about the other day?" Natalie smirked. "I don't know if we have the supplies. We might have to go to Lowes."

"No, I want to take it slow."

"Slow?" Natalie echoed.

"I want to really touch you, hold you, kiss you…"

"You are such a woma—"

Natalie was cut off with a little gasp as he swept her off her feet – literally. He cradled her to his chest and captured her lips with his as he carefully carried her to his bedroom. When they got there, he laid her on the bed and moved his lips down her neck. Joe was so slow and gentle with his kissing, sucking, and nibbling that she found herself nearly breathless. He broke contact between his lips and her skin long enough to slide her dress off and over her head, tossing it to the floor.

Her black bra went next as he teased each new piece of skin he revealed with hot kisses. She undressed him down to just his boxer shorts. He eased the lace panties that matched her bra off, then stopped for a moment and just stared down at her naked body, his hand softly brushing through her hair.

"You are so beautiful."

He lowered his mouth to her inner thigh and continued his soft kissing. She felt him groan against her skin as she reached inside his boxers. Her back arched as his lips moved higher and higher.

"Oh, Joe… Please." Natalie begged.

He teased her a little longer before acquiescing and joining their bodies as one. Even then, his movements were slow and gentle. It was the opposite of what they usually did. His eyes caressed her body almost as much as his hands did. She couldn't handle all the sensations he was throwing at her for long. She came apart in his arms, and he quickly followed, breathlessly crashing down beside her and drawing her close to him.

That night, nestled in his arms with her head against his chest, she fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and woke more rested than she had in years.

* * *

 _Review are love. :) I'm also open to suggestions!_


	5. Chapter 5

A few days later, Natalie returned to the United States refreshed, clean, and polished, thank to charging all of the spa treatments she could book to Jason's credit card. Her first stop was back to Litchfield to catch up on what she had missed while she was gone. On top of the pile on her desk was paperwork from Tasha Jefferson's attorney for her appeal. She immediately called her down for a meeting.

"Taystee." Natalie greeted her at the door and gestured for her to come into her office.

Taystee looked her up and down a few times and gasped. "Mr. C. got you knocked up!"

Natalie blinked several times. "How did you know that?"

"Your boobs got bigger." Taystee said, flopping down in one of the chairs in front of Natalie's desk.

"Why is that the first thing everyone notices?" Natalie wondered aloud.

"And your heels. They got about two inches shorter." Taystee said, pointing at Natalie's shoes.

Natalie glanced down at her feet, where she'd traded her collection of almost five-inch-tall Louboutins for slightly more sensible three-inch Ferragamo pumps.

"Jesus, you're perceptive."

"You gotcha a little Caputo in there!" Taystee squealed. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"We don't know yet."

"Remember Taystee is a good name for a girl… Or a boy!"

"Ah, we'll keep that in mind." Natalie said with a slow nod.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you." Natalie leaned back against her desk and handed Taystee the envelope from her lawyer. "But I actually brought you down here to talk to you about your appeal. It looks like the request has been filed, but I want to warn you that it could be months before the government actually pushes the paperwork along."

"Man, they can't do anything fast."

"Truer words have never been spoken. You have a lot of support from Black Lives Matter, the ACLU, Caputo… There's a chance this could work. You just need to hang in there."

"You're being awfully nice to me."

"The hormones must have softened me." Natalie smirked. "I'll let you know if I hear anything else. You can go now."

"Poor Tracy." Taystee shook her head as she stood up. "She ain't never gonna be the same. You won't even recognize her when that kid gets done stretchin' her out. And with Caputo's big head? Girl, you are IN for it. Good luck with that."

It wasn't often that Natalie Figueroa was left speechless. From the colorful vulgarities she'd heard over the years from inmates to the ones she used herself, she wasn't fazed by anything people said.

But she found herself open mouthed and without words as Taystee bounced out of her office.

* * *

"Can I get some help here?" Natalie said, struggling with the front door of Joe's house later that afternoon. "You were right, for once; I packed too much shit."

"You're back." Joe grinned his way to the front door, kissing her lightly and taking her bags from her.

"I told you I would be. And, I am no longer Mrs. Figueroa."

"So, who are you now?" He realized he had no clue what her maiden name was.

"Okay, actually, I still am 'Natalie Figueroa' because that's another set of paperwork, but I'm not _Mrs._ Figueroa. Progress is progress." Natalie sat down on the couch with a yawn. "I also stopped by Litchfield and saw Taystee."

"How's she doing?"

"She looked pretty good, considering. I was giving her some paperwork about her appeal being filed. She managed to figure out that I'm pregnant."

Joe shrugged. "It's the tits."

Natalie looked down at her chest. "Why does everyone say that?!"

Joe joined her on the couch. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Natalie admitted.

"Did you think any about moving in here?"

He had been right when he'd told her she'd been comfortable there; she had been for a long time. Having someone to fall asleep next to and wake up beside her made her feel more complete than she had in a long time. It also made her smile when Joe would wake her up with a cup of coffee (until she'd gotten pregnant and he'd changed it to shitty decaf).

"I did. I think we should try it."

"That's great news! Let's go to dinner and celebrate."

"Can you…" Natalie yawned around her words, lying down on the couch. "Hold off on that for a couple of hours so I can take a nap? I'm worn out. I flew out at 6 a.m."

"Oh yeah, yeah… Sure." Joe stood up and covered her with a blanket.

She was asleep before he even left the room.

* * *

After her nap, Natalie went to shower and get ready for dinner, but after about fifteen minutes, Joe realized he never heard the shower turn on.

"Natalie?" He rapped on the door lightly. "You okay in there?"

The door opened slowly, and Natalie stood in the doorway, visibly pale. "I'm bleeding."

Joe looked concerned as he looked her over. "Where did you cut yourself?"

Natalie shook her head slowly, blinking back tears. "No."

Joe exhaled slowly, trying to stay calm for both of them as the realization of what she meant hit him. "Shit."

* * *

There were 45 ceiling tiles in Natalie's room in the emergency room. She knew because she had counted them approximately ten times, trying to do anything to take her mind off their situation.

An ultrasound had been completed, but it wasn't the experience they'd shared in the OB/GYN office on that first visit. The tech had kept the screen to herself and had said nothing, just clicking away on the equipment. She'd promised to give the images to the doctor and left. They hadn't heard anything since.

Joe had been dozing in the chair beside her about an hour; they'd been there for four. She didn't see the point in waking him as she'd rather be another state of consciousness herself. When he was awake, he was constantly trying to be calm and reassuring while obviously being scared shitless himself, which had only amped up her own anxiety. But with him asleep, all she could do was run through terrible thoughts in her mind with tears openly streaming down her face.

They didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. Would she have to spend every day of her life wondering who this baby would have been, like she already did with the one her mother had forced her to abort? Would it be just another constant unanswered question, a 'what if'?

Maybe this was karmic justice for all of the terrible things thing she had done in her life – having an abortion, having an affair, embezzling money, being just a bitch in general… She listed them all in her head. The chances of conceiving the baby had been so low that it could be called a miracle, and one that she certainly didn't believe she deserved given her history.

If they lost the baby, it was highly unlikely that she'd ever become pregnant again. She hadn't realized how terrifying pregnancy could really be and how fragile the life growing inside of her was. How many things could go wrong. It had taken her some time to adjust to the shock of the unplanned pregnancy, but she realized how much she really wanted to be a mother. And Joe? He had gotten so excited, even bringing home a ridiculous Side Boob onesie that he'd had custom made. He had his share of flaws, but she had no doubt that he'd be a caring father. What would losing a baby do to their relationship that had taken so much time to build?

"Please don't leave…" Natalie murmured, caressing the small bump of her abdomen. "We want you so much."

Was it her fault? Was it something she did wrong? She'd been to therapy everything, and she'd been trying her best to follow the meal plan the nutritionist gave her, though she slipped up here and there. She'd dragged herself through every morning without the aid of caffeine. She was responsible for protecting this child. What else should she have done to prevent this from happening? Would Joe ever forgive her if she lost their child?

Her thoughts were finally interrupted when Joe woke up, rubbing his face. "Sorry about that. Any news?"

"No."

"What can I do?" Joe asked, desperately wanting to feel useful.

Natalie wiped the tears from her face. "Can you just hold me? Please."

Joe nodded. Natalie scooted over in the bed to make room for him and he laid down beside her, wrapping his arms around her so that his chest pressed into her back.

And they waited.

* * *

 _Thank you for the reviews so far! I've found from Twitter that this is a pairing people either love or hate, but I've been having a good time with them._


	6. Chapter 6

_Dialogue-heavy chapter because they have some things to discuss…_

* * *

The longer the doctors were gone, the worst it seemed. Natalie had gone quiet in Joe's arms, so he knew she'd probably fallen asleep. It would have to be better for her than being awake. He moved his hands over her abdomen and held her protectively as he buried his face in her mess of curly hair. He hadn't been the praying type in a long time, but he prayed that the little life was still growing inside of her.

He hadn't expected to be a father at this stage of his life. When Lisa and the baby left, he always thought he'd find another woman to settle down and have a family with, but it had never happened. With Natalie, it had been a complete, and welcome, surprise.

If Natalie miscarried, he knew there'd never be another chance for them. He had no idea how he would be able to put Natalie back together when he'd be heartbroken himself. She was so much more fragile than she ever let on that she might never recover from such a huge loss.

He didn't know if their relationship would either.

* * *

"Folks…" A female doctor they hadn't seen yet finally entered the room with an apologetic look on her face. Natalie woke with a start at the sound of the door opening.

"I'm so sorry about your wait. We have been slammed. I'm Dr. Parker."

Dr. Parker wheeled a rolling stool next to Natalie's bed and sat down, placing a hand over hers. "The first thing I want you to know is that the baby is fine."

"You're sure?" Natalie asked uncertainly.

"See for yourself." Dr. Parker smiled, holding up an ultrasound and pointing to parts on it. "Those are the arms behind baby's head, and baby has its ankles crossed."

"It's just chilling in there like it's lying down in a fucking hammock while we've had the hell scared out of us!" Natalie exclaimed, tears running down her face again.

"What's causing the bleeding?" Joe asked.

"So, what we have here is a subchorionic hematoma." Dr. Parker pointed to a small black spot below the baby. "It's kind of like a blood bubble between the uterine wall and the placenta. It bleeds similar to how an open wound does, so that's what caused the bleeding."

Natalie gripped Joe's hand. "That sounds really serious."

"They're not uncommon. They usually get reabsorbed without harming the pregnancy, but your OB/GYN will want to keep an eye on it to make sure that happens. If it gets bigger, that can cause problems, but the odds are in your favor that it won't."

"So, what do I do?"

"There's not much you can do except complete pelvic rest. No boys, no toys, no joys… No one player or two player games. Nothing in the vagina and no orgasms whatsoever. They can cause contractions."

"Um… For how long?" Natalie asked.

"Until your OB/GYN says otherwise. Sometimes it's the whole pregnancy. No lifting anything heavier than a jug of milk and no vigorous exercise. You can continue to work for now, but when you get home, you need to take it easy."

"I'll make sure she does." Joe said. Natalie gave him the side eye.

"I'll get the discharge paperwork, and you're free to go. This is yours." Dr. Parker said, handing them the ultrasound. Joe thanked her and she left.

"Oh my God." Natalie buried her face into Joe's chest and sobbed. "I can't believe it. I really thought we lost…"

"I know." Joe cut her off. "So did I."

"I don't know what I would've done." Natalie wiped away tears as she looked up at him.

"I would have been… Devastated. I've been getting pretty excited about the idea of us being a family." Joe said quietly, tangling his hand through her hair.

A family. Had Natalie really ever had one of those? She'd had a father who loved her, adored her, but who never really knew the abuse that Natalie had endured at the hands of her mother. Natalie couldn't remember the last time she hadn't felt alone until Joe and the baby had become part of her life.

"Me too." Natalie whispered.

He pressed his hand to her stomach and spoke to it. "You have to stay strong and stay in there, little person. You have some crazy ass parents out here who are going to love you to pieces."

"What if something like this happens again? Or it gets worse?"

"Here comes the pessimism." Joe sighed. "You can't think like that."

"You don't know what it's like. I have this other living being in me, and I'm terrified that I'd do the wrong thing and it will just… Go away."

"Nat." Joe cupped her face in his hands. "You can't spend the next several months thinking this way. You'll go insane. If something happens, God forbid, it's not going to be your fault. You have to realize that some things aren't in your control."

"I hate that."

"I know you do. But it's true. Take it one day at a time."

Natalie gazed at the ultrasound, running her finger over the image of their baby. "Still has your big head."

"It has to be a girl."

"Why?" Natalie quirked a brow.

"Look at all of this drama it caused just for a little extra attention. We should call it 'Drama Llama.'"

Natalie laughed. "It could just be a whiny man like you."

"I'm sorry about Tracy."

"Tracy's gone longer than 28 weeks without sex, believe me." Natalie paused. "Not without toys, though."

"It'll be a challenge, but it'll be worth it."

"Easy for you to say."

* * *

Neither of them could sleep when they finally got home. They set up on the couch, where Joe turned on some late-night TV. Natalie went to the kitchen and returned with a pint of almond milk ice cream and a spoon.

"You're not planning to…" Joe gestured at the ice cream, concerned that the stress might have caused a relapse in her eating disorders.

"Not unless Drama Llama makes me." Natalie rested her back on one arm of the couch and put her legs in Joe's lap.

"So we're going with Drama Llama?"

"For now. Want some?" They both laughed as she leaned forward and awkwardly fed him a bite.

"Well, I'm going to have to get better at that." Natalie chuckled, wiping the ice cream off his lip with her thumb.

He made a face. "I can't really get on board with your fake milk, but at least it wasn't pureed peas."

"It's not fake milk!"

"Show me a nipple on an almond. What you have there…" Joe pointed at the container in her hand. "Is nut juice."

Natalie laughed so hard that she snorted. "You're ridiculous."

They quietly watched Seth Meyers on the TV screen for a few minutes before Joe spoke up again. "Are you sure you should keep working while you're pregnant?"

Natalie rolled her eyes. "How long have you been waiting to bring _that_ up?"

Joe put his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm just saying. It's a lot of stress."

"What should I do instead? Wear an apron and hang out barefoot in your kitchen?"

"You looked good in the apron as I recall."

"I'm not going to be your 'little woman.'"

"But do you _really_ want to keep working at Litchfield?" Joe asked. "Like you said yourself, it's slow death by fluorescent lighting... And high blood pressure."

"I don't know." Natalie sighed. "I went from corrections to senator trophy wife back to corrections. It's what I know. I figure it's easier just to stay there until they replace me with someone permanent or until the baby comes, whichever comes first."

"You have such an amazing way with words and charm. You're so smooth that you could sell ham at a bar mitzvah. You're smart as hell, and you deserve to use your talents somewhere better than that fucking place."

"Maybe then I'll try something new." Natalie said thoughtfully. "I'm going to have this new identity as a mom when Drama Llama comes, so I don't know what I'll want then. We'll just have to see."

"You could be a stay-at-home mom."

"Ugh, no, I'll pass on that." Natalie scrunched up her nose. "I need adult interaction. Babies just don't get my sardonic sense humor."

"It's your child, Nat. Drama Llama probably come out wearing a tiny pair of high heels, holding a cup of coffee, and passing around condescension."

"Can you really see me trading in the Mercedes for a minivan and heading to the soccer field?"

"You'd look hot in the yoga pants."

"But no one looks hot in a minivan."

"Your car is a two-seater." Joe pointed out "You're going to have to trade it in anyway."

Natalie suddenly looked horrified. She hadn't even thought about that. "Surely they make car seats that you can put in the front seat of a convertible."

Joe slowly shook his head. "No, I'm pretty sure that's not a thing."

"Damn it."

"So, while we're talking about careers." Joe drummed nervously on her legs. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about when we were supposed to go to dinner. I got a job offer while you were out of town. It's in this region with some travel."

Natalie sat up with interest. "What is it?"

"You're going to make fun of me, though."

"I do that anyway." Natalie pointed out, eating another bite of ice cream. "As long as it isn't a mall cop or a security guard at Target…"

"It's in advocacy for the ACLU."

Natalie raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

"Go ahead." Joe gestured as though he was giving her the floor. "Let's hear it."

"Actually…" Natalie said slowly. "I think it's a really good fit for you."

"What?! You're supposed to be telling me that I'm a pussy."

"Well, you are, but it's a good job for you. You're optimistic beyond belief and you fight hard for things you care about, like you did with Taystee." Natalie ate another bite of ice cream. "It's one of the reasons I love you."

Joe's eyes widened at her admission, and Natalie dropped her spoon back into her ice cream, realizing what she had said. It wasn't something she had said to anyone for a long time, but it came out so naturally that she knew it had to be true. She flushed deep red and fixed her gaze on the couch.

Joe smiled at her sudden shyness and knew it hadn't just been a slip of the tongue. "I love you too, Natalie."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It feels good to finally say it." Joe said, pulling her on top of him into a deep kiss. "God, I want to take you upstairs right now."

"I know." Natalie sighed and rested her head on his chest. "This is going to suck."

"You said that was _one_ of the reasons you love me." Joe reminded her. "So… What were the other reasons?"

"Don't push your luck, Caputo."

* * *

 _Thank you all for the reviews. They make me so happy. :) I'm writing quickly because the plot bunnies are running and because I have to go back to my real job next week. Waah.._


	7. Chapter 7

At sixteen weeks pregnant, Natalie had given up on trying to hide it. "Drama Llama" had made his or her presence quite known with a telltale bump on her otherwise thin body that couldn't be anything else but a baby. Guards and inmates alike around the prison had started to whisper, but she just pretended that she didn't hear them. It was none of their fucking business.

The pregnancy had been going well, much to their relief. Joe drove her crazy every evening, forcing her to sit down on the couch after work while he cooked dinner every night. His new job with the ACLU was going well, and he seemed even happier.

Natalie, however, was starting to get annoyed by her sex and orgasm ban and was even bitchier than usual. So, she had to stop herself from slamming her office door in Linda's perky face when she dropped in unannounced.

Linda, who hadn't seen Natalie in several weeks, looked her from head to toe and did a double take. "Are you _pregnant_?"

"That is an illegal question." Natalie responded casually, dropping the paperwork she was holding into her outbox and not moving to help Linda enter her office.

"Are you even _divorced_ yet?"

"Strike two. Also illegal. Wanna go for three? I might have to file a grievance with PolyCon. You could probably tell me a thing or two about how to do that, couldn't you?" Natalie's eyes flicked to the wig that Linda still had to wear as her hair still hadn't grown out completely.

"Calm down, Natalie." Linda said coolly, slipping past Natalie and settling into one of her office chairs. "I'm just making girl talk."

"This isn't a country club, and we aren't ladies who lunch." Natalie retorted. "We despise each other, and I like it that way. So, what did you need that is related to this prison?"

"Testy. You seem to forget that I am your superior."

"I offered you the chance to fire me before, and you didn't do it." Natalie shrugged. "You still aren't going to because you haven't found anyone else who is qualified to run this place."

"I was actually coming to tell you that there are some openings at corporate that you might be a good fit for, but if you don't want to be a team player…"

"As flattering as that is, I don't think I'm interested in climbing the ranks of your corporation at this time." Natalie sat back in her chair and folded her hands over her stomach. It was a subconscious gesture that did not go unnoticed by Linda. "But you know, thanks for stopping by."

"What's Joe been doing? Besides you, obviously, that is."

Natalie glared at her. "Why? Were you thinking of trying to banish him to another midwestern state?"

"Just wondering if he ever found another job." Linda said with a faux smile.

Natalie shut her eyes and inhaled sharply. "He did. Thank you for your concern."

"Well, at least he'll be able to support the baby."

"Was there anything else? I'm pretty busy working on a transfer. 'Big Boo' is coming back to Litchfield. Surely you met her during the riot." Natalie looked at her pointedly with an arched brow.

"I… Don't know who that is." Linda stammered.

"Inmates love to talk." Natalie examined her taupe polished nails and looked back at Linda nonchalantly. "It's really amazing what I learn just when I take a stroll through Max… Ms. Von Barlow. Or should I call you the Counterfeit Cunt of Connecticut? Which did you prefer?"

"Well." Linda cleared her throat. "I should let you get back to work."

"Mmhm."

Natalie smirked as Linda rushed out of her office.

* * *

"I got to spar with your little friend Linda today." Natalie announced, flopping next to Joe on the couch that evening.

"Oh God. Is she still living?"

"Barely. I outbitched her. She was in over her head."

Joe kissed her cheek. "That's my girl."

"But let's not talk about that because after work, I had an appointment." Natalie dangled an envelope in front of Joe. "And I got this."

"What is it?"

"The baby's sex. You open it. I'm too nervous."

Joe chuckled. "What's there to be nervous about? You know it's going to be one of two things. If there was some abnormal third option, they wo-"

"Just fucking open it!"

Joe tore the envelope open across the top and pulled out the slip of paper inside. He read it with a grin spreading across his face. "Ha! I was right! I knew it had to be a girl. With the drama she's caused and how bitchy you've been… I knew you must have doubled up on estrogen."

Natalie thwacked him on the arm. "Shut up. A girl. Wow."

"Aren't you happy? You can raise a little Feminazi like yourself."

"I am, I just hate the idea of my daughter going through life being ogled by idiot men." Natalie considered it for a moment. "We'll just have to make sure to let the boys know what prison is like."

"Let 'em try. I've got a gun."

"So do I. We need to get a safe for those, speaking of. We'll have to go to Lowes soon, too."

Joe looked confused. "Lowes? But we can't do the thing we were sexting about because you are on pelvic rest."

"For paint for your spare bedroom, you idiot. Or were you going to keep her in a drawer?"

"Oh shit." Joe rubbed his hand over his face. "She does need a nursery. And a whole lot of other shit, huh?"

"Good thing I'm a good shopper." Natalie smirked.

"A girl. I can't believe it." Joe had goofy grin on his face.

"Jesus. She's going to have you wrapped around her pinky in about two seconds flat."

"That's the way it's supposed to be with daddy's little girls, right?"

"Yeah." Natalie sighed sadly, remembering her own father's affection for her. "It is."

* * *

It was old fashioned with the wealth of baby name sites on the internet, but Natalie had picked up a name book on her way home from her appointment. She preferred reading on paper, anyway, and it was much more fun to flip through a book with Joe than surf the internet.

At least, it was at first.

"Amelia." Natalie suggested.

Joe shook his head and turned through the book. "Kidnapping. Harper."

"Heroin trafficking. Kayla."

"2nd degree murder. Lena."

"Racketeering. Avery."

"Breaking and entering a Wendy's. They found her with her face under the Frosty machine. She'd been drinking the whole thing. Kierstan."

"Grand theft auto of a school bus. Sophia."

"You gotta remember Burset."

Natalie took the book out of his hands and flipped through it for a few moments. "Olivia?"

"Ohh, no, she murdered like five people. What about Ciara?"

"She stabbed someone in the ass multiple times on the subway while wearing a Reagan mask and holding a baby alligator." Natalie explained.

Joe made a face. "Wait, what the fuck?"

"Strange but true. This is fucking impossible." Natalie moaned, throwing the book to the side and her reading glasses on the nightstand. "We are never going to find a female name that didn't also belong to an inmate. Do you know how many hundreds of names we must associate with them?"

"What about Hazel?" Joe asked.

"That just reminds me of The Fault in Our Stars and bums me out."

"We could do something gender neutral. What about Jo?"

Natalie snorted. "You mean like you?"

"No, it can be a girl's name. Haven't you ever read Little Women?"

"Yes, I have." Natalie laughed. "That's why I know it was short for Josephine. You're just trying to name her after yourself."

"Let's just do this." Joe closed his eyes and flipped back and forth through the book.

Natalie scoffed. "You can't pick our baby's name by…"

He stopped turning pages and landed his finger on a name. He opened his eyes. "Ella."

"Ella…" Natalie repeated. "Hm. What does it say it means?"

"Light."

"I think that's appropriate." Natalie smiled a little. "Do you know an inmate with it?"

"No. You?"

"Nope. I think we're safe. It's a really pretty name." Natalie laced her hand through his. "You always have had long, talented fingers. What about Ella Josephine Caputo?"

"You're giving me the middle name?" Joe grinned proudly.

Natalie shrugged with a small smile. "You gave me the baby. Fair's fair. You like it?"

"I think it's perfect."


	8. Chapter 8

"Natalie, what the fuck are you doing?! Get off of that ladder!" Joe had come home from band practice to find a 20 weeks pregnant Natalie painting his spare bedroom lavender.

Natalie looked down under her feet. "Are we calling step stools 'ladders' now?"

"Just get down from there." Joe held his hand out to her.

"You know I have fucking high heels that are higher than this, right?" Natalie rolled her eyes, but humored him, taking his hand and stepping down.

"I'll do the top trim. You can do the bottom."

"I'm probably more likely to hurt myself trying to stand up from the floor than stepping off the stool, but okay. If it'll shut you up." Natalie grumbled, plopping down on the floor with her paint brush.

"I told you I'd do this. This doesn't look like 'taking it easy.'" Joe located a second brush and stepped on the stool, picking up where she left off on the trim."

"I needed something to do to keep from thinking about doing you!"

"I know." Joe sighed. "It _has_ been hell."

"At least you're still allowed to have orgasms! You probably wouldn't want to fuck me anyway. I look like a whale already." Natalie frowned.

"I've never had a pregnant woman fetish, but fuck…" Joe exhaled, looking down at her. "It looks so sexy on you."

"Ugh, don't tell me that!" Natalie moaned.

Joe turned back to his painting. "I can't win this one, can I?"

"Nope."

He watched her vigorously paint one small section of the wall. "Nat, chill. You're gonna put a hole in the drywall."

Natalie threw her paint brush down in the paint pan. "I just want you to put your drywall in my hole!"

Joe paused in his painting. "That's… A new one. I wonder if that's how contractors talk dirty."

"Har har."

"There's gotta be something to help you keep your mind off of it. Why don't you try a hobby?"

"Well, I did go shopping this evening!" Natalie brightened a little, walking across the room to retrieve a pink shopping bag. "Look at these."

Joe's eyes widened as she pulled out dozens of bright headbands. Some had bows while others had flowers and rhinestones. A few of them were bigger than the baby's head would be, and others were tiny and dainty. She had them in every color of the rainbow, and in some colors Joe couldn't even name. He didn't think even Crayola made that many colors.

 _She's finally lost her fucking mind._ Joe thought.

"I think there are 62 there. Of course, we will collect more."

"More?" Joe echoed. "That's already a two-month supply without repeating."

"But babies wear like 5 outfits a day." Natalie pointed out. "So really, if you do the math, this is less than two weeks' worth of bows."

"Why does she need a separate bow for each outfit?"

"Well, if she ends up with her father's hairline…" Natalie eyed the top of Joe's head. "She's going to need some help."

"Gee, thanks." Joe scooted the step stool down and started painting a new part of the trim.

"I'm hoping since I have a ton of hair and you… Don't… That she'll at least have a normal amount of hair." Natalie said, running one hand through her hair.

"I always figured you wear extensions. Genuine alpaca hair or something."

Natalie looked offended. "First of all, no. Second of all, alpacas? What the hell are you talking about? They don't make extensions out of alpaca hair."

"Hell, I don't know what they make them out of." Joe said, rubbing a hand over the baldness of his head. "Obviously."

"Do you like the color?"

"Of which one?" Joe said, glancing back over his shoulder at the mess of bows on the floor.

"I meant the paint. It's called Sassy Lilac."

"Like she needs any more sass than she's been given genetically?" Joe laughed.

"There's a boho chic bedding set at Pottery Barn that will look great with it." Natalie rested back on her elbows and watched Joe work.

"I don't know what that means, but I'll trust your judgement."

"Oh my God." Natalie suddenly put a hand to her stomach.

"What?" Joe jumped down from the stepstool in alarm and joined her on the floor. "What's wrong?"

"No, she moved. I felt her move." Natalie took his hand and placed it on her bump. "See if you can feel it. There, she did it again."

Joe shook his head. "I don't feel anything."

"Maybe it takes longer to feel it on the outside, but I swear I can feel her inside."

"That's incredible." Joe smiled, stroking her stomach gently. "It's like she's upgraded from tadpole status to little actual person status."

"We're halfway there, and I still can't believe she's real."

Joe nudged her chin up with his index finger and kissed her. "I love you both."

"I love you both, too."

* * *

"Welcome home." Joe greeted Natalie after she arrived home the next evening. She practically bounced into the house. "You're in a good mood. What do you want for dinner?"

"Forget about dinner." Natalie dropped her purse by the door. "I had an appointment today for the anatomy scan."

"Oh." Joe's face turned to concern. "And?"

"Everything looks perfect. Development is good, heart rate is good, no abnormalities."

"That's wonderful news!" Joe let out a sigh of relief.

Natalie smiled and bit her lower lip. "I have even more good news."

"What's that?"

"The subchorionic hematoma is gone. Pelvic rest is lifted." Natalie announced, yanking his pants and boxers down in one fluid motion. "It's on like Donkey Kong."

"Where in the hell did you even get that referen—" Joe was cut off with a groan as she dropped to her knees in front of him.

* * *

Natalie trailed a fingernail down Joe's chest as they laid in bed a couple of hours later. "C'mon, Beer Can. Let's go again."

"I never thought I'd say this, ever, in my life. But I can't have any more sex." Joe gasped, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "You're gonna fucking kill me. You are insatiable."

His back hurt (and was covered in scratch marks), his knees hurt, his ass (also covered in scratches) hurt, his hips hurt, his arms hurt, and yeah, _that_ hurt too. She had unleashed two months' worth of sexual tension on him in three hours, which had been amazing, but brutal for a man who certainly wasn't a teenager anymore.

"Aww, come on, Joe…" Natalie pouted.

"Pace yourself, woman." Joe pulled her into an embrace. "Let's snuggle for a while."

"I feel like there's been a testosterone reversal here." Natalie complained, but she snuggled down into his arms anyway.

"I need sustenance."

Natalie reached for her phone. "Let's order Chinese. I've been craving it. Fuck being gluten-free by choice."

"That's the spirit."

"I think crab rangoons dipped in peanut butter sound amazing."

Joe tried not to make a disgusted face as she dialed the restaurant's number. "See if they can deliver some Advil, too."

Natalie smirked. "Pussy."


	9. Chapter 9

Joe walked into Ella's nursery, carrying a glass of bourbon. The house was too quiet, and he couldn't stand it. There was no clicking of heels across his floors. No sounds of Netflix coming from the living room. No hairdryer blowing in the bathroom.

He was alone.

" _You're putting too much stress on yourself. Your blood pressure has to be through the roof."_

" _You have to stop trying to micromanage my life for me.."_

" _Do you care about the job more than our daughter? And yourself?"_

He moved a stuffed grey elephant out of the way and sank down into the wooden glider that matched Ella's crib and changing table. He sighed and took a drink as he looked around the room. Everything was perfectly coordinated; Natalie had made sure of that.

" _Just fucking admit it. You still resent me for taking the warden job."_

" _Fine. Yeah, I do. You shouldn't have fucking taken it. You should have respected me more than that. You fucked me over, and no, I haven't forgotten that."_

" _It wasn't personal. When I took the job, we were just fucking. Do you think I ever really expected us to have a relationship, let alone a baby? Did_ you _ever think any of this would happen?"_

" _No."_

" _I was trying to keep the place from going even more to hell than it already was."_

The quilt she'd bought from Pottery Barn, lavender, yellow, and grey with whimsical flowers on it, was folded neatly across the front of the crib. She had draped white tulle above the crib so that it came down framing it like a canopy. Ella's name was spelled on the wall in wooden script letters that were framed with light yellow and purple paper flowers.

" _We should have known this was never going to work."_

A small chandelier hung in the center of the ceiling. Joe had laughed when she brought it home at the sheer ridiculousness of putting something so fancy in a baby's room. Natalie had spared no expense or small detail, and the entire room looked like it had come from the pages of a catalog.

" _I can't take this fighting anymore. I'm going to stay in a hotel for now."_

He finished his glass of bourbon and stood up to get a refill.

" _You're fucking scared of being happy."_

He looked back at the nursery, and he wondered if Ella would ever live in it.

* * *

As a child, Natalie learned that the best place to cry was in the shower. It was private and easy to hide from other people (her mother). The sound of the water rushing masked the sound. When she was done, she'd just get out, dry off, and pretend that nothing happened. The hotel (five-star, of course) had amazing water pressure, so Natalie had a lingering sob-fest.

When she finished crying, she leaned her head against the shower wall and hoped that the warm water would ease her pounding headache.

" _You know that I love you."_

" _Don't you realize that I am never going to believe that I am_ deserving _of someone loving me?"_

" _It's because you don't even love yourself!"_

" _Ding, ding, ding. Congratulations for figuring out what took me thousands of dollars of therapy."_

Before Natalie's relationship with Joe, she was used to sleeping alone, sometimes for weeks at a time. But she had spent several months sleeping beside him, often wrapped up in his arms. Even when they weren't snuggled together, the weight of his body and the heat given off it in the bed was comforting to her. When she climbed into the hotel room's king-sized bed, the luxurious sheets felt cold and uncomfortable beneath her. The bed just felt huge and empty.

Ella, who was due just in a matter of weeks, rolled in her stomach and reminded her that she wasn't really alone. Natale winced in discomfort. The baby was running out of room in there.

" _You can't stand the fact that you can't be a hero and fix me."_

" _You don't want to be fixed."_

" _Part of the problem is that you think I_ need _to be."_

Natalie glanced at her phone. Joe had finally stopped calling and texting her. She ignored his every attempt at contacting her because she didn't know what to say to him. The fight was the worst they'd ever had, but she couldn't even remember how it started. They'd said things they couldn't take back.

" _I thought I'd found more depth to you, but maybe you are just an ice-cold bitch who will never allow herself to be more than that to anyone."_

Her feet had gotten so swollen that she had given up on high heels and was only a few steps away from wearing flip flops. Her hands didn't look much better, so she'd stopped wearing jewelry. Her discomfort was worsening with each passing day.

" _Throw your guards back up. Keeping people away is what you do best."_

Natalie picked up the novel she'd started when she checked in, but when she opened it, the words were fuzz on the page. Her headache was literally blinding.

" _This was a mistake."_

" _All of it?"_

Natalie tossed it back onto the nightstand and switched the lamp off. Her eyes, filled with tears, stared up at the ceiling in the darkness.

" _Almost."_

* * *

"What do you want?" The voice on the other end of the phone was clearly annoyed.

"I know I'm the last person you want hear from, but I really need your help."

"Why would _I ever_ want to help you?"

Joe sighed. "Please, Linda."


	10. Chapter 10

"You must be really fucking desperate if you're calling me." Linda laughed.

"It's Natalie."

Linda sounded bored. "What about her?"

"We got in a huge fight over her stress at work that turned into her leaving me. She won't answer my calls. She won't talk to me. I don't even know where she's staying."

"Do I look like 'Dear Abby' to you? Why do I give a fuck about any of this?"

"I'm worried that she's making herself sick by continuing to work, and I need your help."

"How exactly am I supposed to help?" Linda scoffed. "She hates me. I don't think she wants my unsolicited advice."

"You're her boss." Joe raised his voice. "Talk to her. Put her on leave. Fire her. I don't care. Just get her out of that prison."

"So, you don't think your girlfriend is competent to make her own decisions?"

"I think…" Joe sighed, considering, "That my girlfriend is very, very pregnant, on a mission to prove something, though I'm not sure what, and making bad decisions that could harm her and our child. I know you two aren't exactly buddies, but… We're talking about a baby's life here."

Linda was quiet on the other end for several moments. Joe thought she had hung up on him until finally, she spoke.

"Fine. I'll see what I can do."

* * *

"Wow, your stomach looks ready to pop." Linda greeted Natalie in her office that afternoon.

"What a coincidence. So does your head." Natalie retorted, looking at her with dismay.

Linda took a deep breath and held her tongue. Joe hadn't given her an easy task.

"So…" Linda sat down in one of Natalie's office chairs. "I hadn't seen your paperwork for maternity leave come through HR yet. You should be starting that pretty soon, right? Maybe, I don't know, _now_ would be good."

Natalie glared at her. "Did Joe put you up to this?"

 _Damn, she caught on quick._ Linda thought.

"Yeah, the big oaf sent me. I figured he was just being a dramatic girl, but honestly, you do look like shit." Linda commented, eyeing her up and down. She noticed that not only did her hands and feet look swollen, but her face did as well.

"You always were a sweetheart."

"I'm being serious."

Natalie sighed, leaning back on the edge of her desk. "It's just these headaches I keep getting. They're brutal."

"Why don't you duck out and go get them checked out?"

"No one ever asks men if they're feeling competent to do their jobs." Natalie protested.

"From a feminist point of view, I agree with you." Linda nodded. "But from a human with eyes point of view, I think you need to go on maternity leave."

"I appreciate the 'concern,' but as I've told your _ex_ -boyfriend, I don't need people telling me what to do." Natalie said, dropping her forehead to her hands in pain. "Just let it go."

Linda pursed her lips and relented. "Okay. Suit yourself."

Linda was almost to the door when she heard a thud on the floor behind her. She spun around quickly to see Natalie's body jerking and thrashing uncontrollably on the office floor. Linda's jaw dropped in fear.

"Natalie? Natalie? Fuck!"

Linda slammed the office door open and screamed down the hallway. "Someone call 911 and get Medical in here right fucking now!"

Linda, remembering a piece of one of the HR training videos they'd all been forced to watch, shoved as much furniture as she could to the walls of the office to keep Natalie from hitting any of it. She stood back helplessly, waiting for the seizure to stop. It was one of the most terrifying things she had ever witnessed.

Once Natalie had stop seizing, Linda knelt next to her.

"Natalie? Can you hear me? Where the fuck is Medical?!"

It seemed like hours to Linda, but it was only a couple of minutes before a doctor and nurse dressed in scrubs and lab coats burst into Natalie's office. One of them carried a medical bag.

"What happened?" The nurse crouched down by Natalie's head, pulling a pen light out of her pocket.

Linda backed away from Natalie to let the medical staff work. "We were talking and when I went to leave, I heard her hit the floor, and she was shaking. She said she had a headache before that."

"Do you happen to know how far along she is?" The doctor asked, digging through the medical bag for a blood pressure cuff.

Linda struggled to remember if Joe had told her. "I'm not really sure, but I think she only had a few weeks left."

"She's talking." The nurse announced. "She's not making much sense, but she's somewhat conscious."

"Jesus, her blood pressure is 180/120." The doctor muttered, ripping off the blood pressure cuff off Natalie's arm. "Did anyone ever fucking call 911? She could stroke out on us."

"She's bleeding too." The nurse said quietly. Linda inhaled sharply, following the nurse's eyes to the blood on Natalie's dress.

"Can you do something for her?" Linda asked.

The doctor sat back on her heels, still observing Natalie. "It's probably eclampsia, and the only cure is to get the baby and the placenta out. Let's hope the ambulance gets here soon."

"Call Caputo." The nurse ordered. "Tell him to meet her at the hospital."

With shaking hands, Linda dialed Joe's number.

* * *

Joe arrived at the hospital just minutes after Natalie did. Linda met him at the door to the emergency room to escort him to her room.

"How is she?"

"She was more coherent in the ambulance than in her office. She's been asking for you." Linda hung back, letting him talk to Natalie's doctor alone.

"Mr. Caputo…" Dr. Goldberg approached him with a grim expression on her face. "Natalie has preeclampsia, which is a high blood pressure complication caused by the placenta. She experienced a seizure in her office, which we call eclampsia. We believe it also caused a placental abruption, which means the placenta is tearing from the uterine wall and causing bleeding. It's very dangerous for both of them. I'm going to get the baby out as quickly as possible via Caesarean."

"Can I go with her?"

The doctor shook her head slowly. "I'm afraid not. She will have to be put under general anesthesia."

Joe sighed. "Can I see her?"

"We're prepping the OR now, so you can have just a couple of minutes." Dr. Goldberg said, gesturing to the door to Natalie's room.

Joe walked into Natalie's room and found her lying in the bed, hooked to a blood pressure cuff and an oximeter with IV tubes and other wires running across her body. She looked feeble under all of the equipment. Her face was swollen and pale, and her mouth and nose were covered with an oxygen mask. He'd underestimated how difficult it would be to see her like that. For a moment, he found himself unable to breathe. Joe closed his eyes briefly, trying to pull himself together before he walked over to her.

"Hey you." Joe smoothed her hair back from her face.

Natalie pulled her oxygen mask away from her face to speak. "You were right, for once. I'm sorry."

Joe gently stroked the side of her swollen cheek. "Stop that."

"I know I've never been the most selfless person, but Joe…" Tears streamed down Natalie's face. "If it comes down to choosing between her or me, please make them choose her. Please."

Joe fought back tears himself. "You're too mean for this to kill you."

"Be a good dad to her. Sing to her. Let her dance on your feet." Natalie tears turned to sobs. "Tuck her in every night. Learn to do her hair. Tell her she's pretty, but make sure she knows being smart is more important. Scare off the boys. Love her unconditionally."

"Stop it." Joe said, placing a protective hand over her bump. "Just get in there and fight like hell for both of you. Okay? You're the strongest woman I've ever known, Nat."

Natalie shook her head. "I don't feel very strong right now. I just feel tired and scared. I don't know if I can do this."

"You can. You will. Don't give up on us." Joe said firmly. "Promise me?"

"I promise." Natalie whispered, wiping a tear off his face with her thumb. "I love you, Joe."

"I love you too. I'll be waiting for you." Joe kissed her gently and resituated the oxygen mask back over her face.

Joe took a deep breath as he walked back into the hallway and nodded at Dr. Goldberg. He stopped her as she was about to re-enter Natalie's room.

"Please…" Joe said quietly. "They're all I have."


	11. Chapter 11

"You look like you could use this."

A paper cup of coffee crossed Joe's line of vision from his seat in the hospital waiting room. Joe looked up to see Linda on the other end of it.

"I didn't realize you were still here."

"Her seizure was scary as hell. I wanted to see if she and the baby were okay."

"Seriously?" Joe lifted a skeptical eyebrow.

"I may want _you_ to get public lice or get hot sauce in your urethra or get kicked in the balls or fall on a tree branch and have it go up your ass, but I'm not Satan. I don't want anything bad to happen to your baby." Linda sat down beside him, taking a sip of her own cup of coffee. "It's bad enough that she might look like you."

"Well, your clear and well thought out revenge ideas definitely make me want to drink this." Joe said, doubtfully looking at the coffee she gave him.

"Oh, please. If the riot taught me anything, it's that killing you isn't worth going to prison." Linda rolled her eyes, grabbed his cup, and took a sip to prove herself. "See?"

"Thank you for what you did back there. If you hadn't been there…" Joe trailed off, not wanting to think how Natalie and Ella's situation might have been hopeless had Natalie been alone.

"I was just in the right place at the right time." Linda shrugged.

"Nat's not an easy person to love. She doesn't make it easy." Joe took a drink of his coffee. "She actually makes it pretty damn hard a lot of the time if I'm being honest. But God help me, I do. I love her. She's worth it."

Linda sat quietly, staring at her coffee cup. While she was trying to build good karma by offering her support to Joe, listening to him wax poetic about the woman he cheated on her with wasn't exactly enjoyable.

"If anything happens to her…" Joe trailed off. "I can't raise Ella alone."

"If you had to, you would. It's who you are." Linda said. "But Natalie's in the best hands right now, and you know she won't go down without a fight."

"I can't stand this waiting." Joe sat his coffee on the table beside him and dropped his head into his hands. "Whatever is happening in there is either going to make this the best or worst day of my life."

* * *

Linda was called back to work a half an hour later, leaving Joe alone in the waiting room once again. He was mindlessly staring at CNN on the waiting room wall's TV when Dr. Goldberg finally walked toward him. Joe jumped up, trying to read her face for good or bad news before she spoke.

"It wasn't easy." Dr. Goldberg said, pulling the scrub cap off her head and rubbing her face tiredly. "The bleeding was very difficult to control. I had to do a hysterectomy to stop it, and we had to give her a few units of blood. She's on magnesium sulfate to bring her blood pressure down. You should be able to see her when she comes out of anesthesia."

"So she's okay?"

"She's going to have a rough road and a lot of pain, but, as long as her blood pressure continues to come down and she doesn't throw anything crazy at us, she should make a full recovery."

"What about Ella?"

Dr. Goldberg smiled. "Why don't you come and meet her, Dad? Follow me."

"She's okay?"

"We are going to monitor her for a while, but she's breathing well and holding her temperature the way she should." Dr. Goldberg said as they walked.

Dr. Goldberg used the key card on her lab coat to let them into the nursery. A nurse smiled in their direction and stepped back out of their way as Dr. Goldberg approached Ella's plastic bassinet.

"Here she is."

"She's so little." Joe said, gazing down at his newborn daughter, who was swaddled in a white blanket with blue and pink stripes. A soft pink knitted cap with a bow on it covered the top of her head.

"She's 5 lbs., 14 oz., to be exact" Dr. Goldberg announced. "And 19 inches long. Are you ready to hold her?"

"It's been a very long time since I've done this." Joe half laughed. "I think I better sit down."

Dr. Goldberg gestured to a rocking chair nearby, and Joe sat down. She lifted Ella out of her bassinet and placed her gently in Joe's arms. "This is your daddy, little Ella."

"Oh my God." Joe laughed. "You really are so small."

"I'll let you two get acquainted. Buzz if you need anything." Dr. Goldberg said, slipping out.

"Well, Ella Josephine… It's nice to finally meet you."

Ella opened her eyes for moment, meeting his gaze just briefly before closing them again and returning to sleep.

"This doesn't feel real. I can't believe that you're mine, even though I do think you have my nose there. Sorry about that. Your mother's isn't any better, so you just had no luck in that department. You are the most beautiful baby I've ever seen, though. You're going to be a daddy's girl because I'm going to spoil you rotten. Do you want a pony? You can have a pony. You name it. It's yours."

Ella's face scrunched, and she let out a little cry.

"Maybe you'd rather have a puppy? Shhh…" Joe jiggled her gently in his arms. "Don't you cry. I'm never going to let anything happen to you. I love you, Ella. I'm so glad you're okay."

He kissed her softly on the forehead and snuggled her closer.

* * *

Joe sat by Natalie's bedside, with his shirt partially unbuttoned and Ella lying upright on his chest, covered with a blanket. He rested his hand protectively on Ella's back. Dr. Goldberg had called it Kangaroo Care and had suggested it as a way to bond and help Ella maintain body temperature while Natalie was sleeping.

"Joe?" Natalie had woken up several times before that, but not long enough to do anything but mumble.

"Hey, Nat. I'm here."

"What's going on?" Natalie blinked her eyes slowly.

"You've been in and out of it for the past few hours."

"Ella?" Natalie tried to focus her eyes.

"She's fine. She's right here with me."

"She's really okay?" Natalie asked tearfully, turning her head toward them.

"She's tiny, but she's a fighter… Like someone else I know." Joe said while Ella yawned in response. "Look, she's bored with listening to me already, too. Like mother like daughter."

Natalie smiled at the way that Ella was resting on Joe's bare chest. "You look like a dad."

"I love being a dad already."

"Can I see her?" Natalie tried to sit up more, but groaned in pain instead.

"Take it easy. Of course."

Joe messily tried to swaddle Ella back into the blanket and realized he would have to learn how to do that later. He carefully scooted his chair closer to Natalie's bed, and laid Ella beside Natalie's head where she could see her, supporting the baby so she wouldn't fall off. "It's time to meet your mama."

"Hi, baby…" Natalie gazed at her new daughter. "She's so beautiful."

"And, you'll be thrilled to know that she does _not_ have my hair, or lack thereof." Joe eased Ella's hat off to show Natalie her head, which was covered with an impressive amount of silky, feather-light black hair.

"Thank God." Natalie chuckled, then winced in pain. "I want to hold her, but I don't know if I can. I can barely move. I feel like my limbs are filled with lead and my veins have fire going through them. I'm afraid I'll drop her."

"It's the magnesium sulfate they're using to bring your blood pressure down. The doctor said it's awful and it does that. Let's try this." Joe gently moved Natalie's arms and arranged a couple of pillows on her, avoiding her incision, as a makeshift nest for Ella. He settled her into it. "How's that?"

"I think it works." Natalie murmured, not taking her eyes off the baby. "Thank you."

Joe started rebuttoning his shirt. "We've been bonding while you were out. I've been telling her about you. I told her that some… Well, really most… People think you're kind of a bitch, myself included at times, but that you were willing to give up your life for her without a second thought."

"I'd do it again." Natalie ran a finger through Ella's downy hair.

"I know you would."

"It's hard to believe that she's this tiny, brand new person who is just completely innocent. She hasn't been beaten down by the world yet. She's just… Perfect." Her eyes met Joe's. "I love her so much already, and I just met her.

"I know. I do, too. She's amazing."

Natalie closed her eyes briefly. "I'm so sorry about everything."

Joe sighed and placed a hand over hers. "Don't beat yourself up too much. Dr. Goldberg said that preeclampsia is caused by the placenta. You were basically a ticking time bomb. The stress at work didn't do you any favors, but it wasn't the only factor."

"That's not the only thing I'm sorry about, though." Natalie lifted Ella's hand and marveled at her tiny fingers. She looked back at Joe. "I'm sorry I left."

"I'm sorry I made you feel like you needed to." Joe pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I came so close to losing both of you. I don't want to think about how close." Joe gave the sleeping baby's nose a gentle tap. "It made me realize that nothing we have ever fought over has ever been worth it."

"If we take away fighting, how will we communicate?" Natalie chuckled.

"Well, we can still fight, but let's just remember that we are in this together. Right?"

Natalie smiled slightly, remembering the previous promise they'd made months before on Joe's bathroom floor. She nodded. "Together."


	12. Chapter 12

Joe leaned in the doorway of Ella's lavender nursery and watched Natalie, lit by only Ella's nightlight, stand by her crib and tend to her. She was never so beautiful as she was with their daughter.

He knew exactly what she was doing. Three-month old Ella had started sleeping longer stretches at night, which freaked Natalie out. She would go into her nursery compulsively, sometimes multiple times a night, and lay her hand on Ella's chest to make sure she was still breathing. She'd inadvertently woken Ella on a few occasions, which made everyone unhappy.

Natalie had been struggling with post-partum anxiety, which her psychiatrist said was not surprising given the way she had given birth and that they'd both almost lost their lives. She'd had a few panic attacks in the months following Ella's death, leading her to seek counseling and medication. Joe was surprised at how quickly she'd asked for the help, both from the professionals and from him. It was the first time she'd really allowed herself to admit weakness and lean on him.

Motherhood had softened her, just enough. She still had her snark and quick wit, and the two of them still bantered, but they were gentler with each other. Natalie put her heart and soul into doting on Ella, undoubtedly trying to prevent the mess her own mother had made of her. Ella had already wrapped Joe around her pinkie, too. One of his favorite things to do was snuggle up with her on the couch after work and watch her give him gummy grins.

Joe moved away from the door and walked up behind Natalie, wrapping his arms around her waist. It had gotten softer, too. She smiled a little and leaned her head back against him.

"Will you marry me, Natalie?" Joe murmured in her ear.

"What?" Natalie half laughed and turned around to face him, figuring he was joking.

And then she saw white gold ring, set with a diamond flanked by sapphires, grasped between his thumb and forefinger. Her mouth fell open slightly.

"Somewhere between hating each other and falling in love, you became my best friend. I'm still not sure how it happened, but here we are. We're partners in this unexpected, wonderful life we've made with each other. It's made me a better and happier man, and I want us to be husband and wife, officially."

"Are you sure you really want to be sentenced to life with me?"

"Yes. I thought the ring and the little speech would be proof enough, but I could get down on one knee, if that would convince you."

"No, you don't need to…" Natalie giggled nervously as Joe dropped to one knee in front of her and took her hand. She covered her face with her free hand. "Oh my God, this is actually happening."

"I was trying think of these creative ways to do it, but then I was watching you in here with Ella… I just fell in love with you all over again. So, I just… Asked."

"Have you been carrying the ring around with you?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I'm kind of surprised you hadn't found it yet." Joe gestured to the floor around him. "But uh… Are you just going to leave a guy hanging?"

"Oh, sorry." Natalie laughed. "You took me by surprise. Yes. I'll marry you, Joe."

Joe grinned, sliding the finger onto her left hand. He stood up, wrapped her into his arms, and kissed her.

When they finally broke apart, Natalie flexed her fingers back and forth to watch the ring sparkle on her hand. "It's beautiful. I think being with me has improved your taste."

"We could elope upstate one weekend." Joe suggested.

"I can't believe I'm giving you two compliments in fifteen seconds, but, that sounds like a perfect idea."

Joe gazed down at Ella, sound asleep in her crib. She was on her back with her arms over her head, completely unaware that her parents had just gotten engaged beside of her.

"She really is beautiful, isn't she?" Joe reached down and stroked Ella's chubby cheek.

Natalie smiled. "I think we did well."

"It's hard to believe she'll grow up to resent us."

Natalie laughed quietly. "Well, at least we'll have each other."

"I love you, Nat." Joe said, kissing her forehead.

"I love you too, Joe."

* * *

 _Andddd that's the end of the main story. I think I will add some one shots of parenthood as they come to me. They won't be in any kind of chronological order (actually, the first one I'm thinking up has Ella as a teenager), but hopefully, you'll read and enjoy them when I get them up._ _Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I have so much fun writing with these two._


	13. Chapter 13

_This is my first little parenthood one-shot, which happens to take place when Ella is thirteen because it just popped into my head that way._

* * *

"Why is there a firearm sitting on the kitchen counter?" Natalie asked, crossing her arms.

"It's not loaded."

"That's not what I asked."

Joe sighed. "Ella texted me before volleyball practice. There's some boy coming over with her this evening to work on a school project."

"So, you're going to… Shoot him?"

"I said it's not loaded." Joe defended himself. "It's just sitting there as a warning."

"Joe, that's insane."

"I was going to get your Glock, too, but I couldn't remember that safe's code."

"You want to scare the shit out of the other parents and have her be a freak among her peers so no one wants to hang out with her?"

"Yes!" Joe grabbed the sides of Natalie's face and quickly kissed her on the lips. "You're finally understanding the plan."

"She already freaked out of everyone when she was in kindergarten when she told them we were once prison wardens. Remember? No one would play with her for weeks because they were afraid we'd throw them in jail."

"I liked it that way. We need to bring that back."

Natalie shook her head slowly. "You've finally lost your fucking mind. I always knew you would."

"I miss her, Nat." Joe said quietly as he sank onto a bar stool. "She used to tell me everything. Now, I'm lucky if she grunts at me before she flees to her room to stare at her phone all night. Or, she'll be screaming and crying, and I have no idea why."

Natalie leaned back against Joe, sitting somewhat on his lap. "I know. I never thought there could be more drama than in a women's correctional facility until I had a daughter in middle school.

"It's insane." Joe agreed. "Middle school teachers are crazier than prison wardens for dealing with that hot mess."

Natalie sighed and squeezed his hand. "But at some point, you have to trust that you raised your kid to make the right decisions when you're not standing over top of her."

"Do you not remember how we ended up with Ella in the first place?" Joe asked pointedly. "'Nat, it's fine. I'll pull out in time.' Ring a bell? And you were _forty_ when you agreed to that. She's thirteen."

Natalie blinked several times in realization. "Okay, let's get the Glock."

"Glad you're finally seeing things my way." Joe said happily. He stood and turned to head upstairs.

"No, wait." Natalie sighed and caught his arm as he took off. "We are not crazy people. Put the gun away now before Ella gets home and sees it."

Joe reluctantly picked up the gun and walked upstairs with it. Moments after he'd gone, Ella bounded into the house, still wearing her volleyball practice uniform and her long, dark blond hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was quite pretty, but tomboyish, to Joe's delight and often Natalie's dismay. Trailing behind her was a cute, but nervous-looking boy with dark hair. Joe came back down the stairs in time to glare at the boy's back.

"Mom…" Ella fidgeted a little bit, a pink blush spreading across her cheeks. "This is Liam."

"It's nice to meet you, Liam. You two can work at the dining room table. If it's okay with your mom, you can stay for dinner, and we'll order pizza." Natalie cast a pointed look at Joe. "Won't we?"

"What?" Joe was still busy appraising Liam. "Oh. Sure."

"Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Caputo." Liam said quietly.

"We'll let you two get to work." Natalie said, dragging Joe out of the room by his hand.

"What an act." Joe hissed as soon as they were out of earshot. "He's acting like he's all polite."

Natalie rolled her eyes. "Maybe his mother just raised him right."

"I'm going to go check on her."

"No, you're not. They've been here for three minutes. Sit. Down."

Natalie pulled Joe down on the couch beside of her. Even though he was acting ridiculous, the concerned look on his face made her feel empathy toward him. She rested her head on his shoulder and snuggled into him.

"And we thought the baby stage was the hard part, huh?" Natalie half-laughed.

"Then there was the toddler stage… What a shitshow." Joe shook his head. "Why does it keep getting harder instead of easier?"

"Well, right now, it's hormones."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm going to get a beer." Joe stood up while Natalie gave him a Look. "What? I'll be right back."

He was gone longer than necessary, and when Natalie finally went to check on him, he was rattling everything he could find in the fridge. Ella was casting suspicious and embarrassed side glances at him.

"Did you need help finding something, honey?" Natalie asked through clenched teeth.

"Nope. Got it." Joe held up a bottle and flashed her a smile.

"So, what are you two working on?" Natalie asked Ella and Liam. She noticed that Liam was sitting as far away from Ella as he possibly could while being able to see what they were working on and almost laughed.

"We have to research the time period and plan a wedding for Romeo and Juliet." Ella explained.

"Well, if it'd worked out better." Liam chimed in.

"Oh, how romantic. I can't believe they still make kids read that cr-" Joe coughed as he caught Natalie's elbow in his ribs.

"If you need any help, we'll be in the living room." Natalie pushed Joe back toward the living room with her index finger pressing into the small of his back.

"What do you think?" Joe whispered.

"I think the poor kid looks terrified that he even has to _talk_ to a girl." Natalie chuckled quietly.

Joe took a sip from the beer bottle. "Yeah… I thought the same thing. But it won't always be that way."

"You're right." Natalie snagged the bottle away from him and took a gulp. "It won't."

"What will we do then?"

"I don't know. But, we'll have each other… And beer."

"And firearms."

Natalie laughed and kissed the back of his hand. "I love you, crazy ass."

"I love you, too."


	14. Chapter 14

_As I said, I'm just skipping around time as one-shot ideas come to me. I'll warn you that I was in a melancholic mood for this one, which takes place when Ella is in her mid-late twenties. I'm sure I'll go back to childhood next time…_

Ella accepted a glass of red wine from her father. She'd arrived just after nightfall and had beaten the snowstorm that started outside (which made Joe a nervous wreck the entire time she was making the three-hour drive).

"What's new with you?" Joe asked.

"Well, there's this doctor who started at the office a couple of months ago…" Ella folded her long legs beneath her, perching on the couch next to the Christmas tree. The soft glow of the white lights illuminated her face in the otherwise darkened room. "He's young, very intelligent, handsome…"

"Oh?" Joe tried to keep his tone neutral, shifting the sleeping toddler on his chest to rest on his other arm. The two-and-a-half-year-old didn't stir, remaining cozy against his grandfather's chest in his red footed fleece pajamas.

Part of him was still the protective father who never wanted Ella to get married; but she also spent all of her time working and taking care of Jeremiah, and he was afraid she'd never settle down and share her life with someone.

"Yeah, I can't stand him." Ella said, taking a drink of her wine.

Joe raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"He's an arrogant prick. He looks down on the nurses because he's our superior."

Ella was a registered nurse in a cardiology office. She'd worked in a hospital first and loved it, but the structured hours and days of the offices were friendlier for a single mother.

Joe chuckled, remembering what it was like to have Natalie as a boss. "Boy, does that sound familiar…"

Ella had heard the pieces of the story of her parents' courtship (minus the dirty details) numerous times throughout her lifetime – of how the antagonism between them had turned to respect and friendship and eventually to love.

But it was a story she'd never tired of hearing.

"Your mother used to torment me for sport. Every time she'd leave my office, I'd throw something at the door. Almost hit someone else coming in one time with a stack of Post-It notes."

"How did you get past that?"

Joe fast-forwarded past all the hate sex they had in his mind to the part he felt he could tell his daughter. "I got her job, and I realized how damn hard it was."

"Well, I'm never going to have his job." Ella pointed out.

"Maybe not, but you can realize that he's probably projecting his stress onto you and try to empathize with him. Realize he's human."

"And that's what you did with Mom?"

"Ehhh, sort of. I also wooed her with karaoke on our first date, of course." Joe's eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled.

"I still can't believe she actually got on the stage with you."

"I think that's when it shifted, and we realized we didn't really hate each other." Joe said. "I thought she was going to kill me at first, then she did some of the most awkward dancing that I've ever seen."

"I miss her." Ella said softly, looking down into her wine glass.

Joe sighed, shifting his eyes to the mantle to look at a framed family photo – one of their last. "So do I."

"Are you okay?" Ella's face turned concerned. "I know you were hoping to have one last Christmas together…"

It was only eight months before that terms like "adenocarcinoma," "stage four," and "metastasized" became part of their lives; it was only two months after the diagnosis that Natalie was gone.

"If we had, she'd have suffered a lot longer and been in more pain. It's better that it was quick." Joe said softly. He told himself that frequently; sometimes, it was the only way to get through the day.

Ella frowned at him, a very familiar frown. Sometimes, Ella reminded Joe so much of Natalie that he could hardly look at her without feeling a pain in his chest. Her hair was lighter than Natalie's and her nose was more like his own, but her eyes were her mother's. She even sounded like Natalie; there were times when Ella would answer the phone sounding just like her mother, rendering him momentarily speechless.

Inside, Ella was like Natalie in many ways, too. After her relationship with her son's father, who was her college boyfriend, hadn't worked out, she'd built walls around her heart to keep people out. A master of sarcasm and wit, Ella used them both as a defense mechanism – just as her mother had, but not quite as biting.

Ella locked eyes with her father. "I've been thinking. I could get a job at the hospital here, and Jeremiah and I could move back closer to home."

"Are you crazy?" Joe shook his head firmly. "You love living in Connecticut. You're not moving back here to babysit your old man."

"I just hate to think of you being here and lonely." Ella sighed.

"I'm fine." Joe gestured toward the golden retriever lounging under the tree, gnawing on a candy cane-shaped dog toy. "I'm not alone. I have Bailey."

Bailey's ears perked up at the sound of her name, but she didn't leave her spot under the tree. Joe had put up the Christmas tree out of obligation to Ella and Jeremiah, not for himself. It was artificial (Natalie had never wanted pine needles all over the place), and when he'd carefully hung the ornaments, he'd wistfully marveled over the memories attached each – the porcelain rocking horse ornament from Ella's first Christmas, the clay ornament they'd struggled to imprint her tiny hand into, the Rudolph made of popsicle sticks that she'd brought home from school. There were ornaments from the vacations they'd taken and framed pictures of Jeremiah's baby photos. It looked the same; but it wasn't.

"Maybe we can visit more."

Joe smiled a little. "That I would like. I happen to love this little guy. And you too, I suppose."

Ella laughed. "Gee, thanks. Having a baby took me from spoiled only child to chopped liver really quickly."

"Boy, Natalie loved you too." Joe murmured to the still-sleeping toddler, lightly stroking the pale blond curls on the back of his head. "Being your grandmother was her favorite."

"It sure was." Ella whispered her agreement.

"Just remember this, Elli Jo…" Joe used the nickname he'd had for her since she was a baby. "Sometimes, you get hurt before you find the love you need. With me, it was an ex-girlfriend. With your mom, it was an ex-husband. We didn't end up together until we were over 40, and I didn't think I would have ever had a family life when I was that old. I got the chance to love her, to have and raise you, and now, you have your own child… We had a beautiful life together, and I wish it had been longer, but, I was still lucky to have it."

Ella laid her hand over Joe's. He turned his hand over and squeezed hers.

"All I'm saying is don't rule the jerk ass out just yet. There might be more to him than you think." Joe smiled sadly. "There was certainly more to Nat."


	15. Chapter 15

_Just a very short little lighthearted scene since my last one was so depressing, haha._

* * *

"Mama. Say Mama! Mama."

Ella stared at her mother blankly while gnawing on a purple silicone teether from her spot on a fuzzy lavender blanket that was spread out on the carpet.

"Fine. I'll even take Dada." Natalie pointed at Joe. "Dada? Say Dada!"

Throwing the teether down in sudden disinterest, she picked up large plastic horse and began chewing on the side of it.

"Do you think there's something wrong with her?" Natalie frowned. "Like is she delayed, or does she have trouble hearing?"

"No, I think she's fine." Joe made a stuffed bear dance around in front of Ella, who clapped her hands and grabbed it from him. "She's not even one yet."

"She should have said something by now."

"Maybe she just doesn't have anything important to say yet. She babbles a lot in what sounds like Norwegian Snow Elf."

Ella worked her five teeth around the horse's leg, staring at her parents. The toy slipped out of her hand and hit the floor in front of her.

"Oh, shit!" Ella called out.

Natalie's jaw dropped. "Did she just say…"

"Yes." Joe had burst out laughing.

"Our daughter's first word is a cuss word." Natalie groaned. "I can't believe this."

"I wonder where she got that…" Joe said, looking pointedly at Natalie.

"No, you use that word more than I do. Had it been fu—" Natalie paused and corrected herself, "The F word, then I would take responsibility."

Joe shrugged. "You wanted her to talk. She's talking. You can stop worrying now."

"Shit. Shit!" Ella kicked her legs gleefully.

"No." Natalie sighed. "Now I'm just worried that she has Tourette's."


	16. Chapter 16

_This one is actually like its own little short story… It's the longest chapter in the whole fic, haha. Enjoy!_

* * *

"Hi." Joe said awkwardly, after opening the door of his extended stay hotel suite to see Natalie standing outside.

"Hi." Natalie responded, just as stiffly.

"Daddy!"

Six-year-old Ella peeked out from behind Natalie, and Joe's face broke into a grin as he pulled his little girl into a hug. He held onto her tightly, having missed her during the days between her weekend visits. When he finally released her, he looked back up at Natalie.

"Okay, well… I'll bring her back Sunday." Joe said.

Natalie nodded. It was the uncomfortable dance they'd done for several weeks. When the arguing had gotten too bad for either of them to handle, he'd been the one to volunteer to move to a hotel, leaving Natalie and Ella in the home that Joe and Natalie had purchased together a few years prior. Neither of them had made the move to file for or even discuss divorce, but they'd made a casual arrangement for Natalie to keep Ella during the week and for Joe to have her on weekends.

"Okay. Bye, Ellie Bean. I love you." Natalie bent down to kiss Ella's cheek and hug her goodbye, ruffling her hair as she ran into Joe's hotel room.

Natalie sighed as the door clicked shut behind them and leaned the back of her head against the wall. She couldn't even remember exactly what had caused their fights to escalate to the point of Joe moving out.

The stress and exhaustion of being a working mom had gotten to her; she constantly felt unappreciated, working full-time for the governor's office and coming home to take care of Ella (and Joe, most of the time). Her frustration would boil over into yelling at Joe, who was offended by it and felt that Natalie was constantly telling him he didn't do enough and nagging him.

It spiraled into arguing about everything else – money, parenting, work schedules. They'd argued more than they communicated in any other way. It became an unhealthy cycle that didn't break until Joe finally left.

But the only thing that replaced it was loneliness.

* * *

A couple of hours after Natalie left, Ella was perched on the stool at the breakfast bar in Joe's hotel room, diving into a huge ice cream sundae he'd made her to follow the pizza they'd ordered together.

Joe had discovered that there were a few perks to being the "weekend parent," and that was one of them; he could spoil her rotten while he had her.

"Do you still love Mommy?" Ella suddenly asked between bites of ice cream.

Joe was taken aback. "What? Of course I still love Mommy."

"Then why won't you live with us?"

"We've talked about this, sweetheart." Joe said gently. "Don't you remember how we were arguing all of the time? You couldn't have liked that."

"It was better than you not being there at all." Ella said, poking at the sprinkles on her ice cream with her spoon.

Joe exhaled slowly, feeling like he'd been sucker punched. "Oh, Ellie Jo…"

"I miss you, Daddy."

"I miss you, too."

* * *

On the weekends, with Ella gone and the house quiet, Natalie had decided that the alone time she had craved wasn't all it was cracked up to be. There was only so much Netflix she could watch, only so many books she could read, and only so many times she could scroll social media on her phone. She missed her family.

And though she wouldn't admit it, she'd also realized that Joe did more around the house than she thought.

Her Saturday evening was as boring as her Friday one had been. She'd fixed herself a quick salad and taken it over to the TV in the living room to eat. She was halfway through the salad and part of the way through a murder documentary on TV when her phone lit up with Joe's number.

He never called her when he had Ella. Something had to be wrong.

"Hello?" Natalie answered the phone anxiously.

"Natalie." Joe's relieved voice came through the phone. "Don't freak out, Ella's okay, but—"

"But?!"

"I need you to meet us at the ER."

"What happened?" Natalie interrupted, dropping her salad onto the coffee table.

"I took her to the trampoline park, and she hurt her arm. We're waiting for x-rays."

Natalie swore as she frantically looked for her shoes. "I told you I didn't want her going there. It's too dangerous."

"She begged me to go."

More anger rose in Natalie's voice. "So, she's the one in charge now?"

"Natalie…"

"You're supposed to be the adult. You're supposed to be the father and set limits and say no."

"Do you really need to do this right now?" Joe shot back. "Don't you think I feel bad enough without getting the third degree from you? Just get here as soon as you can. She's asking for you."

"I'm on my way."

* * *

The hospital was a half an hour away, and by the time Natalie arrived, Ella had received pain medication and was happily eating a popsicle that one of the nurses brought her. They were waiting for the doctor to come and put on the hot pink cast Ella had selected.

Natalie had coached herself on the way over not to get into a fight with Joe, no matter how angry she was that he had taken Ella to the trampoline park after she had told her no dozens of times.

"So, she's okay?" Natalie asked Joe, after greeting Ella with a careful hug and kiss.

"It was a very simple break." Joe looked tired. "They said she'll wear the cast for a few weeks, then she'll be fine. No surgery or anything.

"It wasn't the hand I write with, Mommy."

"Well, that's good." Natalie replied. She avoided the hard, plastic chair next to Joe's, instead sitting down on the bed by Ella. "Do you need anything, Ellie Bean?"

"I want to go back to my house tonight."

"Okay." Joe nodded, trying not to feel hurt that she didn't want to go back with him.

"Of course." Natalie nodded.

"And I want Daddy to come, too. I want him to stay tonight with us like we're a family. Like we used to be." Ella looked sadly from Natalie to Joe.

Guilt ripped through Natalie's stomach, gutting her. She snuck a side glance at Joe. From the look on his face, she could tell he felt the same way.

"I…" Natalie could barely speak after what Ella had said. "Yes. If that's okay with Daddy…"

She trailed off and looked at Joe, unsure if he wanted to be around her that long. They hadn't had more than awkward, five-minute conversations with each since he'd begun staying at the hotel.

Joe smiled weakly. "Anything for you, Ellie Jo."

* * *

"Do you want a beer?"

"Sure."

Ella was tucked into her bed, exhausted from the evening's ordeal, leaving Natalie and Joe without her as a buffer between them; Natalie had decided that alcohol was a necessity.

Joe sat in the living room, waiting. He hadn't realized that it was possible to be a stranger in his own home, but he hadn't spent much time within its walls in those weeks, returning only to get clothes and other things he needed and always while he knew Natalie would be working.

Natalie returned, holding two open bottles of beer, and she extended one to Joe. After hesitating momentarily, she sank down onto the love seat next to him, leaving space between their bodies.

"So, how have you been?" Joe finally asked.

They uneasily began talking about their day-to-day lives and Ella. The tension between them eased the more that they talked, especially about their daughter; it began to feel like things were somewhat normal between them.

As Natalie told Joe a story about Ella's latest art project, one of her brunette curls fell in front of her face. Without thinking, Joe reached out and brushed the ringlet back from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. It was the kind of gesture that he'd done so many times over the years that it was an automatic response that was natural to him.

"Sorry." Joe mumbled sheepishly.

The brush of his fingertips against the side of her face felt electric on her skin. It had been so long since he'd touched her at all; she realized she wanted him to touch her more.

Before she could stop herself, Natalie grabbed the front of Joe's shirt and yanked him toward her, fusing their lips together in a kiss. In his state of shock, it took Joe a moment to respond, then his mouth moved back desperately against hers as he pushed her backward on the couch, settling himself between her legs.

She tasted just how he remembered, like the hint of sweet vanilla that was in her lip gloss. Natalie raked her nails down his back and pulled him closer to her. Their mouths spoke to each other in deep kisses the way they had been unable to in words. Joe tangled his hand in her hair and tipped her head back, moving his lips in a trail down her neck.

"God, I've missed this so much." Joe groaned, running a hand under her shirt to feel the soft warmth of her bare skin.

Natalie could feel his arousal pressing against her pelvis; it only made her remember how much she wanted it. "Should uh… We take this upstairs?"

"If we don't want to risk our daughter walking in on us naked, I'd say so." Joe answered breathlessly.

They kissed all the way to their bedroom but refrained from removing each other's clothes until they were safely behind the locked door. He laid her naked body down on their bed that had felt cold and empty to her for weeks without him.

Joe paused above her. "Nat, are you sure that…"

She didn't let him finish, instead answering by guiding him into her and uniting their bodies with a shared moan.

* * *

Their first sex session was rough and frenzied, with both of them working as hard and quickly as they could for the climax. But it wasn't long after they caught their breath and let their heart rates slow that they were all over each other again.

That time, they took their time. Joe lavished affection on the parts of Natalie's body that he had missed, tracing his fingers over every familiar curve and freckle. She explored her husband all over again, enjoying him in her hand, in her mouth, and inside of her. They both used the touches and moves that they knew to be their favorites from their years of experience together, driving them both over the edge together in a powerful release.

Sex had always been something they could agree on.

After, she curled up next to him with her head on his chest, both of them still bare under the sheets. Joe's hands caressed their way up and down her back. The familiarity was comforting, and she felt like a piece of herself that had been missing was back in place again.

"I missed you." Natalie admitted quietly.

Joe's lips grazed the top of her head. "I missed you, too."

"But it's going to take more than amazing sex to fix our relationship." Natalie sighed.

Joe smirked. "Well, our relationship started with amazing sex, so maybe it can be rebooted with amazing sex?"

"Seriously, Joe…"

"I know. I know." Joe shifted their embrace so that he could see his wife's face but didn't release her. "Where do we go from here?"

"We could try marriage counseling first, I guess?" Natalie shrugged. "What do you think? Is that stupid?"

"No. I think we can use some help from an outside party... And I think we're worth another try."

"So do I."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

"Oooooo!"

From their bedroom doorway, the girlish squeal woke them the next morning.

Their intention had been for Joe to return to the couch before Ella woke up, not wanting her to get too excited about their reunion by seeing them sleeping in the same bed; but they'd drifted into a comfortable, deep sleep nestled in each other's arms and forgotten all about it.

As Ella bounced onto the bed and landed between them, Natalie was very grateful that they'd at least had the foresight to put clothes back on.

"Are you guys going to get back together again?"

"We…" Natalie looked at Joe. "We are going to try to work on getting along better. We're going to go talk with someone who can help us."

"Right."

"Are you moving back in, Daddy?"

"Well, we haven't really talked about that." Joe answered.

"Pleaaaaassssseeee!" Ella jutted her lip out in pout she had spent her entire life perfecting.

"I think that if Daddy wants to move back in, it would be good for all of us." Natalie said slowly. "But it's up to Daddy."

Joe kissed Natalie's cheek. "I'd like that."

Ella clapped her hands together. "Perfect! Now, you just need to get married again."

"Honey, we've still been married this whole time." Joe said with a gentle chuckle.

"I'll be right back."

Before her parents could respond, Ella ran out of the room. They shrugged at each other, waiting to see what she had planned. She returned a few minutes later with a white piece of tulle that Natalie recognized from her dress up box.

"Get out of the bed and stand right here." Ella ordered.

Reluctantly, Joe and Natalie climbed out of the bed and stood in front of Ella in their pajamas. Motioning for her mother to stoop down, Ella plopped the makeshift veil from her dress up box on top of Natalie's head clumsily with her one good hand and gave her a bouquet of faux flowers that she had plucked from a vase in the foyer. Next, she took Joe's hand pressed two plastic rings with large faux stones on them; she had gotten them as prizes from the dentist office's treasure chest.

"Dears we love, we are here today to marry Mommy and Daddy again." Ella took their free hands and clasped them together. "Daddy, do you promise to love Mommy forever? Will you give her kisses and hugs, buy her favorite grown-up juice in the pretty bottle, and never cook eggs for her because she thinks they're disgusting?"

Joe smiled. "I do."

"Mommy, do you promise to love Daddy forever? Will you give him kisses and hugs, buy him cheeseburgers, wash his stinky socks for him, and let him watch football on Sundays?"

"I will." Natalie said, stifling a laugh.

"And…" Ella's little face grew very serious. "Do you both promise to love me forever?"

"Always." Natalie said, stroking the top of Ella's dark blonde head.

"There was never a question." Joe added.

"Time to put the rings on!" Ella announced.

Natalie laughed as Joe tried to slide the ring onto her finger. He managed to get it on the tip of her pinkie. She attempted to put the other ring on his hand, but his large fingers made it impossible. He closed his hand around it instead.

"By the power blessed me by the United States of New York, I announce you husband and wife again!"

Joe kissed the ring on the tip of Natalie's pinkie. "Hurray!"

Ella put her hands on her hips. "I didn't say you could kiss her yet."

"Oh. Sorry."

Ella looked back and forth between them, pausing for dramatic effect. "NOW you may kiss the bride!"

Joe wrapped his arm around Natalie's waist and drew her to him, placing a kiss on her lips. To her surprise and Ella's delight, he dipped her backward in the kiss.

"I love you." Joe said when he brought her back to a standing position.

"I love you, too."


	17. Chapter 17

_Now Ella's an adult again because things just pop into my head this way, haha._

* * *

Natalie greeted Ella at the front door with a huge hug, excited to see her daughter for the first time in a month. It had been difficult for the close-knit family since Ella had chosen to stay in Connecticut after her college graduation and work as a pediatric nurse at a children's hospital, and they looked forward to their visits with each other, which they tried to make happen every month or so.

"I missed you so much." Natalie said, taking her daughter's overnight bag and setting it by the stairs.

"I missed you. Where's Daddy?"

"He went to the store to pick up a few things." Natalie said. "Come on, let's get you a snack."

Ella followed her mother into the kitchen. She perched on a bar stool while Natalie opened the refrigerator and pulled out a tray of crackers, assorted cheeses, and fruits. She set it down on the counter in front of Ella, who grabbed a grape off it and popped it into her mouth.

"That's good because there's something I need to talk to you about alone." Ella said quietly, her eyes focusing on the array of snacks in front of her instead of her mother.

With a quirked brow, Natalie studied her daughter, running through the variety of possible scenarios in her head until she found the one that she thought fit. She sat down on a stool across from Ella and exhaled slowly. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Ella's eyes widened in shock, her head snapping up to look at Natalie. "How did you know?"

Natalie shrugged. "You have the look on your face… It's a mixture of being completely fucking terrified and exhausted."

"That about describes it." Ella agreed.

"How far along are you?"

"About eight weeks."

"What does Eric say?"

"We broke up." Ella looked down.

Natalie sighed. "Because of the baby?"

"No… Before I found out I was pregnant. It just wasn't working out."

"Did you tell him?"

Ella nodded. "He knows and he claims he's going to help, but, I'm not so sure."

"So, you've decided to keep the baby?"

"I thought about having an abortion at first." Ella admitted. "I even made an appointment at a clinic. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't go through with it."

"It's not an easy thing to do." Natalie said quietly.

Ella looked at her mother, realizing that the comment sounded like it was coming from a voice of experience. "What?"

Natalie adverted her eyes. "I got pregnant in high school, Ella. My mother forced me to have an abortion. I've regretted it ever since. I know some women have abortions and go on and don't regret it, but… Not me. Probably because it wasn't really my choice."

"I never knew about that." Ella said softly.

"Well, it's not exactly a happy story that I've been dying to tell you, but I think it's important for you to know about now."

Ella hesitated before asking her next question. "With me, did you ever think about…"

Natalie cut her off. "Not for one moment. You were basically a miracle. Just don't let it go to your head."

"I'm afraid to tell Dad about the pregnancy. He'll be disappointed."

Natalie shrugged a shoulder. "Probably."

Ella scoffed. "Thanks a lot, Mom."

Natalie sighed. "I'm not in the habit of lying to you, Ella. He still thinks of you as his little girl, and this is going to throw him for a loop. He probably won't be jumping for joy at first, but he will come around. He adores you, and he'll adore your baby, too."

"Maybe you should tell him instead." Ella gnawed on her cuticle nervously.

"You're 24 years old, Ella." Natalie pointed out. "You have a degree, a good job, a nice apartment… You're very much an adult, especially now. If you're grown enough to have and raise a baby, then you're grown enough to tell your father about it."

"I guess you're right."

"I always am." Natalie swatted a piece of bleu cheese out of her daughter's hand. "You shouldn't eat that one. Stick to the hard cheeses."

"I thought I was a grown up." Ella reminded her, somewhat amused.

"A mother's instinct to protect her child never dies. You'll see."

Ella picked up a cube of cheddar instead. "What should I do? About telling Daddy?"

Natalie sighed and bit into a strawberry, thinking. "The way I see it, you have two options. You can tell him now and get it out in the open. Give him time to adjust to the idea while you're here and not feel like you've been hiding something from him."

Ella's stomach churned at the thought of telling Joe right away. "What's the other option?"

"You can wait and tell him before you leave, which will probably just make you a nervous wreck all weekend leading up until that moment, then you'll probably go home on less than good terms with him."

"Well, it's obvious which option you're pushing for."

Natalie gave her a small smile. "I think you'd both be better off with that one in the end."

"Are you disappointed in me?" Ella asked. Her parents' approval had always been very important to her.

Natalie shook her head. "No. I'm surprised, and I do wish you had easier circumstances for this, but you know I'm going to spoil the hell out of the kid and love it regardless."

"Do you think I can do it?" Ella whispered. "Be a good single mom?"

Natalie covered Ella's hand with hers. "I know you can."

* * *

They spent the next ten minutes talking about the pregnancy, how Ella had found out, and the morning sickness Ella had experienced until they heard Joe come in through the front door.

"There are my girls. Ellie Jo!" Joe put the grocery bags down on the counter and pulled his daughter into a tight embrace. "I'm so happy to see you."

"I'm happy to see you too, Dad." Ella forced out.

"All of this cheese and no wine is a shame. I got your favorite, Ella." Joe pulled a bottle of red wine out of a paper bag. "Want a glass?"

From behind Joe, Natalie met eyes with Ella, giving her a little nod; it was as good a time as any. Ella nodded back slowly. Natalie moved to stand behind her daughter and rested a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I can't, Dad." Ella said, her heart pounding faster in her chest.

"Okay." Joe set the bottle down on the counter in confusion. "What's up?"

Ella closed her eyes, unable to look at him. "I'm pregnant."

"What?!" Joe's eyes shot over Ella's head to look at Natalie, who nodded slightly.

"I'm eight weeks pregnant."

"Jesus, Ella." Joe raked a hand over the bald surface of his head. "Haven't you ever heard of a fucking condom?"

Natalie snorted, glaring pointedly at Joe. "Hadn't _you_?"

"Don't make this about us, Natalie." Joe shot back.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think it's fair to persecute our daughter for doing the same thing we did."

"And you knew about this?"

Natalie put her hands up in mock surrender. "I only found out when she got here. I have about a thirty-minute lead on you, but that's it."

Joe turned his attention back to Ella. "Where's Eric? He couldn't come with you to share this news?"

"We broke up." Ella mumbled.

"Why?"

"It wasn't working out." Ella said lamely.

Joe rolled his eyes, unwilling to accept that answer. "Okay, now tell me what that _really_ means."

"He was cheating on me." Ella whispered.

Natalie closed her eyes and shook her head at this new information. Though it had been over two decades since she had caught Jason cheating on her, she still remembered how painful it was. She hated to think that her daughter was experiencing that.

Joe, on the other hand, was livid.

"I'll fucking kill the bastard."

"No one is killing anyone." Natalie rubbed her temples.

"It'd be worth the rest of my life in prison."

"No, it would not. Stop it, Joe."

"She's going to ruin her life."

"Can I see you in the living room, please?" Natalie asked Joe through gritted teeth.

"Like she doesn't know you just want to talk about her? She's not a child, obviously."

Ella slid off the bar stool. "How about I just go to the bathroom, and you guys can talk about me while I'm gone?"

After she left the kitchen, Natalie spoke in an angry whisper. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Me?!"

"She was with the guy for four years, and he cheated on her and left her pregnant!" Natalie exclaimed. "Do you think you could show your daughter some fucking compassion? She's terrified."

"She should be! She made a huge, life-altering mistake."

"We made a 'mistake' too, and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us."

"That was different. We had each other." Joe argued. "She has no one."

"She has _us_." Natalie countered. "She needs our support now probably more than she ever has."

Joe frowned, leaning back against the counter. "Nat, I wanted more for her than being a single mother and struggling to raise a kid on her own."

Natalie took Joe's hand and squeezed it. "This isn't the path that any of us would have chosen for her, but it's the path we're on. She's an adult, and there's a very real baby that she wants to keep and raise, and it's our grandchild."

"Grandchild. Jesus." Joe shook his head.

"I don't expect you to be over the moon right now, but you can at least be supportive."

"Fine. I'll try."

Ella returned from the bathroom and reclaimed her spot on the bar stool. "So, what'd you all say about me?"

"Ella, I'm sorry." Joe mumbled. "You're a grown woman, this is your life, and if this is what you want…"

"It is." Ella said quietly.

"We're here for you." Joe sighed. "I just never wanted your life to be difficult like this."

"I know it's not going to be easy, but a baby is hardly the end of the world, Dad. Was I the end of your world?"

"No… You sort of lit it up, as cheesy as that sounds." Joe admitted.

Ella smiled. "Exactly. Because I was a miracle child."

"I told you not to let that go to your head." Natalie said, tugging playfully on Ella's ponytail.

"It's going to take some getting used to, but you know I'm going to love this kid." Joe said. "God, it's weird even to say that."

"I know you will." Ella said softly.

"I love you, Ellie Jo. No matter what." Joe opened his arms to his daughter, who allowed him to fold her into them as Natalie looked on.

"Can I get in on this peanut butter and Ellie sandwich?" Natalie laughed, using the name they'd always used their family hugs.

Joe tugged her by the hand toward them. "I think that can be arranged."

Natalie wrapped her arms around both of them as well as she could. "We're going to be there for you every step of the way."

"I know." Ella's voice was muffled from being in the center of their group hug. "Thank you. I love you both."

"We love you both, too."


	18. Chapter 18

Between the racket of loud pop music, the sensory overload of the hundreds of candy-colored dresses surrounding him, and the indecisive, endless shopping of his wife and teenaged daughter, Joe had a headache.

Natalie and Ella had brought him prom dress shopping as a peacekeeper and referee; they'd started butting heads for sport since Ella had entered high school, and though she was then a junior, it didn't show signs of stopping any time soon. He sat in an overstuffed chair, surrounded by mirrors and feeling empathy for the other lone, miserable dad across the fitting room area from him.

"What do you think of this one?"

Joe took in the navy, lace-covered top and chiffon skirt that Ella was wearing when she exited the dressing room, immediately noticing that there was space between the cropped top and the skirt.

"Well, that looks great, but where's the rest of it?" Joe asked.

"What do you mean the rest of it?" Ella looked at him like he was an idiot.

He was starting to think he was one for agreeing to go with them.

"There's got to be like a sash or something that goes on your stomach to cover your stomach, right?"

"No."

"Oh. No way in hell then."

"Dad!"

"It's only showing like four inches of her stomach, Joe." Natalie rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not ridiculous. I'm trying to keep her out of prison."

Natalie didn't try to hide her amusement. "Yeah, you're going to have to elaborate on that one because I don't remember any of the women we worked with being there for wearing midriff-baring clothing."

"It's a spiral." Joe argued. "You start letting her show off her stomach like that, then next she's going to want her belly button pierced, then she's going to get a tattoo, join a gang, and start selling crystal meth to school kids."

"Wow. That escalated quickly." Natalie rolled her eyes.

"Here, what about this one?" Joe snagged a shapeless, floor-length chartreuse gown with long bell sleeves off a nearby rack.

"That's hideous." Natalie said, wrinkling her nose.

"Got one." Ella said, whisking a purple dress into the fitting room with her and closing the door. She threw the pieces of the two-piece dress back over the door to Natalie, who began hanging them back up.

"Joe, you're going to have to relax a little bit." Natalie said. "You want her to wear a potato sack?"

"No, but I want her to look like a respectable young woman."

"Look at this one!"

Both sets of their eyes widened when Ella emerged wearing the purple dress. The violet fabric hugged Ella's chest and plunged into a low dip at the front, pressing her cleavage up and together and reminding Joe why he'd been a nervous wreck since the moment he found out Ella had two X chromosomes. The slits on either side of the skirt were just as daring, shooting up to her mid-thigh. The tight material hugged curves Joe preferred to pretend that his daughter didn't have.

"This one is so pretty! I love it." Ella squealed, admiring herself in the mirror from every angle.

Joe tried to pick his jaw up from the floor and form words. "Absofuckinglutely not."

"Seriously?! What's wrong with it?"

"It's… Too old for you." Natalie said, attempting to be tactful. "You're showing way too much… Skin."

"It's _my_ body, so why do you care?"

"It may be _your_ body, but it's _my_ credit card." Joe pointed out.

"Mom?" Ella demanded.

Natalie shrugged passively. "It's a joint credit card."

"I hate it when you guys team up against me and act like butt buddies!"

"If she only knew." Joe murmured in Natalie's ear after Ella turned around.

After a final look at herself in the mirror, Ella grumbled her way back into the dressing room to take the dress off and try another one, leaving her parents sitting outside to wait. Again.

"Want to swing by Five Guys and see if they have a spare potato sack?" Joe asked.

"May not be a bad idea. Jesus."

"So, uh… When did she get breasts?" Joe asked Natalie in quiet mortification.

"When? I was wondering _where_ she got those." Natalie replied, looking dejectedly down at her own chest. "Certainly not from me."

"Well, my mother was pretty well-endowed, but that's another thing I don't like to think about." Joe shuddered.

"Jason was supposed to buy me a set after he got elected, but then the whole gay thing happened."

"They've always made me happy, but you know I'm more of an ass man, anyway."

"Yes, you are an ass."

"You guys! These dressing rooms aren't sound proof, you know." Ella complained loudly.

Natalie buried her face in Joe's shoulder to muffle her laughter. The purple dress was flung back over the door.

"Try the black one, El."

A couple of minutes later, Ella came back out of the dressing room in a short black dress with a sequined bodice and a flouncy, ruffled chiffon skirt. She spun around for her parents' inspection.

"I like that one." Natalie said.

"It's pretty." Ella agreed.

Joe was shaking his head. "That one is a little short."

"I don't think it's too bad." Natalie said.

"Stand with your hands at your sides." Joe commanded. Ella sighed, but complied with his request. "See, it's not to her fingertips."

"I don't think the school dress code applies for prom, Dad."

"I just don't want your date trying to feel you up all night."

"Daddy!"

"Have you not told your father who you're going with?" Natalie asked Ella, suppressing a laugh.

"She told me she's going with a friend, but I know what that means." Joe said, gesturing between himself and his wife. "We started as friends once, too."

Natalie raised a brow at him. "Umm, I don't know that I would say we were ever _friends_."

"Ew, I don't need to hear your entire gross history." Ella said, holding up one hand.

"Anyway, have you told your father _which_ friend you're going with?"

"It's Graham."

"Graham, Graham…" Joe racked his brain trying to place the name. "Which one is he?"

"The one she met doing _flag corps_." Natalie said pointedly.

Joe gestured around his eye with his finger. "The kid who wears the eyeliner at the football games?"

"Yes."

"Oh!" Joe breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, there's no way that kid is straight."

"Exactly."

"Since he's gay, does that mean I can go ahead and get the purple one?" Ella asked brightly.

"No." Natalie answered at the same time Joe said, "Hell no."

"Ugh! You guys are the absolute _worst_! You are ruining my whole existence!" Ella moaned as she stomped back into the dressing room.

Joe turned to Natalie and grinned, holding his hand up, which she smacked for a high five. "Parenting achievement unlocked."

"I don't know what to choose!" Ella complained from the dressing room. "You guys don't like anything I try!"

"Let me try to find you something." Joe offered.

"No!"

But Joe took off through the store anyway, if for no other reason to get escape from the whining of his daughter. He scanned over some racks until he found what he thought a prom dress should be. Natalie looked approvingly at the dress when he brought it back, surprised that he had actually picked one that was beautiful.

"Here, Ellie Jo." Joe said, tossing it over the dressing room door. "Try that one."

Ella walked back out of the dressing room in a much better mood. The long, baby blue gown had a sweetheart neckline with an off-shoulder straps and with a silver beaded lace bodice and a full, layered tulle skirt. It fit her perfectly.

"That looks amazing on you." Natalie gasped, walking over to Ella to fluff the dress. She grabbed Ella's dark blonde, wavy hair in one hand and twisted it up and held it on the back of her head, pulling a few tendrils down around her face to see what her hair could look like in an updo.

"You look like Cinder _ella_." Joe smiled.

"Or _El_ sa." Natalie joked.

"You guys are so lame." Ella said, but she was smiling at herself in the mirror.

"What do you think?" Natalie asked, meeting Ella's eyes in the mirror.

"I think it's the one. I just can't believe my dad picked my prom dress." Ella said with a laugh.

Joe smiled and kissed the side of her head. "See, your old dad doesn't have such terrible taste after all. I did pick your mom, after all."

"Sure, it was something like that." Natalie smirked.

Ella twirled around in the dress, swishing the fabric around her. "Yeah, this one is perfect."

Natalie clasped her hands together. "Excellent. Now we just need shoes, a handbag, jewelry, makeup…"

"Oh my God." Joe moaned, flopping back into his chair. "Why doesn't this place have a damn bar?!"


	19. Chapter 19

"I think you're ready to push! I'll get the doctor." Ella's labor nurse hurried out of the room.

Joe kissed the top of his daughter's head gently. "That's my cue. I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy."

"Take care of her." Joe said needlessly to Natalie, who nodded and gave him a light kiss on the lips before he left the room.

He couldn't get out of there fast enough. Seeing Ella in so much pain had been uncomfortable and heartbreaking for him, but it had been their plan for months; they would both sit with Ella while she was in labor (unless she wanted rid of either or both of them at some point – but she hadn't), and when it was time for her to push, Natalie would coach her while Joe headed to the waiting room.

As they'd all feared, but somewhat expected, Ella's baby's father had dropped completely out of the picture. Retirement had allowed Natalie and Joe to make frequent visits to help Ella set up a nursery and prepare for the baby with Natalie moving in to stay with Ella and help her through the last couple of weeks of her pregnancy. They'd gotten lucky that Joe was also in town visiting when Ella went into labor.

"Do you think I'm stupid for not taking the drugs?"

Natalie patted Ella's hand that was clutching hers. "I think you're fucking crazy. You're a nurse. You know better than this."

Every time the contraction monitor line began to climb up to a peak, Natalie had a moment of heart-pounding anxiety and fear that she tried her best to keep hidden from Ella. But even without medication, there was a serenity about Ella that inspired awe in Natalie. She calmly breathed her way through each contraction, occasionally making low noises or squeezing her mother's hand, but it wasn't the frantic screaming and yelling that Natalie had always seen in movies. She had nothing else to compare it to, having given birth to Ella through an incision in her stomach while completely unconscious.

"You think I can do this?"

"Are you kidding? You're doing amazing. He's already almost here."

"That's not what I mean."

Ella's confidence in raising her child as a single parent frequently wavered. It wasn't the first time they'd had the conversation, but Natalie hoped with the baby officially on his way, it would be the last.

"Of course you can. Let me tell you a story."

"Okay."

Natalie felt her daughter's grip on her hand tighten as another contraction started, and she squeezed back reassuringly. "When I had you, after I finally woke up from the anesthesia, your dad had you laying on his chest. He looked like a dad, and he looked so confident, like he knew what he was doing. Now really, he didn't know what the fuck he was doing, but I didn't know that until later."

Natalie laid her free hand gently on her daughter's baby bump. She could feel the rigidity of Ella's muscles tightening in another contraction under her hand.

"No parent really knows what the hell they're doing. You just fake it until you make it. You'll screw up sometimes, he'll screw up sometimes. You'll yell and wish you hadn't. You'll wonder every minute of every day if you are doing the right thing for him. But, you'll have this incredible, unbreakable bond with him that you'll have never have with anyone else, and you will never be the same again." Natalie softly kissed her daughter's cheek, flushed pink and warm from the eight hours of labor she'd endured. "Your capacity to love will change in ways you won't believe."

Ella closed her tear-filled eyes. "I love you, Mom."

Natalie smoothed a sweat-soaked strand of hair back from Ella's face with a small smile. "I love you too, Ellie Bean. You're going to be an amazing mom."

"Hello! It sounds like it's time to have a baby." Ella's doctor breezed into the room and greeted them cheerfully, snapping on a pair of blue gloves. "You ready?"

Ella looked at her mom and smiled slightly. "I'm ready."

* * *

Jeremiah Reed Caputo's first cries healed a part of Natalie she didn't realize still hurt by allowing her to witness the part of birth that she'd been unable to experience herself with Ella. At Ella's side, she felt the anticipation of his birth, the anxiety of waiting to hear him cry, and the rush of joy as he did.

After bonding with Jeremiah skin-to-skin for a couple of hours, Ella finally yielded to her exhaustion and fell asleep, leaving the new grandparents to hold and fawn over him, who had received his first bath and was swaddled in a soft cotton blanket.

"He looks so much like Ella as a baby." Natalie said, running her finger along one of Jeremiah's soft cheeks.

"She was tiny though. He's a big, strapping boy."

Natalie winced. "Eight and a half pounds, natural. Yikes. I was so proud of her, Joe. She was so strong and amazing."

"Another difference is the hair… He has none." Natalie ran her hand lightly over the baby's velvety bare head. "I'm trying to decide who's balder, him or his grandpa."

Joe raked his hand over his own head. "Ouch."

"I think it's a better look on him." Natalie said with a playful smirk. "At least he doesn't look like his 'father.'"

"Good. Fuckin' bastard."

Natalie covered the baby's ears. "Hush, don't start cussing in front of him. You remember what happened last time."

"Are you ever going to let me hold him?" Joe asked impatiently.

"Well, I _guess_ you can have a turn now, Grandpa." Natalie carefully shifted the baby into her husband's arms, making sure to support his head.

Joe smiled down at his grandson. "It really doesn't feel like it's been so long since we held Ella like this."

"No, it sure doesn't feel like 25 years."

"I thought Ella had me wrapped around her pinkie when she was born, but this guy… I think he has her beat."

"It feels different being a grandparent…" Natalie said, reaching out to hold the baby's hand. "It's all of the overwhelming love without the anxiety and fear of screwing up raising him."

"Yes, we can leave those things to Ella now."

Natalie's face turned serious. "She's worried, Joe."

"I know." Joe sighed. "She has a tough road ahead of her."

"I really do think she can do it. Don't you?"

"Of course I do." Joe made soft noises at Jeremiah as he began to fuss in Joe's arms.

"I think he just wants his Nana."

"Hey, I'm not incompetent. I've got this." Joe lightly jiggled Jeremiah until he calmed down. "See?"

Natalie tried to hide her smile. "You're not too bad."

"So, back when you were showing me your gum-covered, overpriced high heel, did you ever think you'd have a grandchild with me?"

Natalie laughed loudly, then quickly covered her mouth, not wanting to wake Ella. "I would have been less surprised to see monkeys fly out of your ass."

"Hey, shh, you already told me not to cuss in front of him."

"Back when you were throwing stuff at your door every time I left your office, did you think you'd ever have a grandchild with me?"

Joe chuckled softly. "You knew I was doing that?"

"I heard the shi—stuff—smack the door or the floor every time."

"The real question is have I made you happy?" Joe asked quietly

Natalie stared at Joe. "Are you kidding me? You made me a mother and now a grandmother. You've built a life with me, made a home with me, and it hasn't always been perfect or even close… Sometimes, it was hard and there were rough times, but yes… I'm very happy. I love you."

"I love you, too. I'm glad you seduced me all those years ago." Joe smirked.

"That's not how I remember it."

"As I recall, you asked me to push you up against the wall and…"

"Shhhh." Natalie covered Jeremiah's ears again. "Not in front of the baby!"

* * *

 _If you have any prompts, storylines, scenarios, or family scenes you would like me to write, feel free to comment them! I have a lot of fun writing for these guys, but like I've said, I've just been writing stuff as it pops into my head! I'm happy to do requests._


End file.
